Three to... Four Parks

Stubborn Baby, Fickle Mommy

2009-06-07T23:21:00.001-07:00

Really thought today was it. This morning started a series of heavy contractions that did not let up during church service and I also started to spot. Okay, so the normal thing to do would be to call the hospital right away. Me, I was trying to figure out what I wanted as my last meal before I had to give up my pregnancy 'all you can eat' privileges! Once we got home I wanted to time my contractions before making the call so in the meantime Steve went out with my request of McDonalds. Yes, we had an awesome McDonalds feast! I even had a fish burger I haven't had since I was a kid! And then I decided to take a nap. And then I woke up... and yes, we're still here and no I still haven't called the hospital. Okay, so I don't mean to be so fickle and poor Steve is on edge cuz I can't make up my mind... but if only these contractions would just intensify and give me more reason to want to go to the hospital! I promised though for sure tomorrow no matter what, I would call in. I like the date too since Sydnie was born on the 8th. =)
I can't believe I consumed all that McDonalds grease. And considering we never left home, we eventually got hungry and had to think about dinner!

Dribble

2009-06-03T22:25:00.000-07:00

As much as I've been opposed to delivering early, I'm actually quite surprised that we're still hanging out waiting for #2. We've had a few false alarms since the weekend, but before making the drive to Hoag, I tell Steve I need the contraction to have me doubled over in so much pain I can't even scream. While they have been increasingly getting stronger, I still can't say I've crossed a 'five' on the pain-o-meter. Thought today at around 5:00 pm that for sure it was finally time, but here I am instead updating our blog. I figure I'd rather take the risk of delivering in the passenger seat over being sent back home! haha. I never got this far with Sydnie but I was reading that one mom delivered at 36 weeks with her first but not until 41 weeks for the second... so potentially we may still have a few more weeks!
Well one very prominent problem I am encountering is incontinence. It is really no laughing matter! I am so thankful nothing has happened in public! This subject was broached in an earlier entry, but that was when "dribbling" would involve a sneeze or laugh. My recent experiences have initially led me to think my water broke because it would happen while I'm washing the dishes or seconds after I just used the restroom. There is absolutely no forewarning and no urge for that matter, so I assume it must be the kid messing with me from inside. As you know we've been potty training Sydnie... it's painful for me to share this but also paints the picture for the reader... well there is a pile of training underwear in a bucket in the bathroom we collect from all her accidents... and now a few of mommy's underwear occasionally find their way to the bucket! I'm going to need some Depends the next time we go out!

still Three Parks

2009-05-30T01:14:00.000-07:00

Another doctor's visit and still at three centimeters but 80% effaced. With Sydnie, scar tissue on my cervix had prevented me from dilating past three so wondering if the scarring may have reformed and we might encounter that again. Doc did ask if I would like to induce if we do end up making it all the way, which I'm still against unless for some reason baby is going to be ginourmously huge. I only had the epidural in place for about half an hour the first time before delivering so if we make another attempt without drugs and actually succeed all the way, my big fear is the pain associated with the birthing part. hmmm... my masochistic side is starting to diminish as I get older. Sydnie had her first public tantrum yesterday at Babies R Us. She wanted me to take out this wagon for her out of a bin and I was checking out so I motioned for her to come to me instead. She proceeded to stamp her foot and release a loud wail in front of a pretty large audience. I personally found it pretty amusing. I appreciate though that despite me being the bad guy, she still wanted me to comfort her and make her feel better. Little sucker =) haha. I enjoy my mini best friend so much. She is my little comedian and some of the things she does I wish I could capture with more than my memories. So I know I've never been the world's quietest sleeper but I was officially kicked out of our bedroom and demoted to sleeping downstairs this week. I make Steve sound like the bad guy but I really can't complain because I've been sleeping great while he wakes up with dark bags under his eyes. haha. I didn't have this problem the first time around but with this one Steve says my snoring is out of control! I figure it is the extra weight gain as I'm about 14 pounds heavier than what my final weight was with Sydnie but then again, this "problem" has been torturing Steve since first trimester! He's been patient though and it was only when it seemed like my "noises" were affecting Sydnie's REM, we agreed I would need to be the one leaving our bedroom premises. Well lets hope I'll be allowed to re-enter post delivery!

Struck Gold

2009-05-22T14:13:00.000-07:00

I went to my weekly check up this morning and I'm about three centimeters dilated. I still have hope we have a few more weeks but staying active is getting progressively difficult. If only Sydnie was in on our plan she would force me to stay seated and keep my legs crossed! =)
For those that may be eating while reading this or just are hyper sensitive to body waste, other than their own, you may want to avoid scrolling down.
Steve and I are personally quite proud of this picture though... So last week my mom for whatever reason decided to pin Sydnie's hair before putting her down for a nap. And Sydnie, in typical Sydnie fashion took the pin out and put it in her mouth. My mom saw this on the monitor so ran upstairs. My feeling is Sydnie heard my mom's panicked steps coming up and without thinking swallowed the pin. I never received any of my mom's calls while at work so learned of the situation when I got home. Since she was eating and playing well, we decided to wait it out. Our only concern was that she would have swallowed the pin opened versus closed, which would mean the sharp pointy end was exposed. Well, a couple of days passed and on Saturday, this was the picture Steve emailed to me while I was at work:
Relief! Good job Sydnie and really Thank God! The horrors we may have had to go through if it failed to appear!

One Year Modeling Pics

2009-05-10T14:39:00.000-07:00

Its a Borl

2009-05-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

My pregnancy ticker says I have a little over a month to go and I am hopeful that is accurate, but I fear delivery being any day... Going pee for too long makes me wonder if my water just broke, paranoia sets in with a sudden back spasm... the worst is when I have a big poo. Usually that should be a good thing but I hear that pre-labor your body naturally releases a laxative-like force wanting to "empty" out - so even poo freaks me out! haha
Well, we are still struggling with names. We do know we want to continue with the "s" but never thought sticking to an S name would be so limiting. Of course when people find out we don't know the gender they'll try to predict for us. It will be interesting once he/she arrives, how many myths are broken or accurate. Here is what has been said so far:

<< Theories supporting a girl: >>
* I eat a lot of sweets
* Hips are wider
* Baby's heart rate is over 140
* I prefer sleeping on my back than my side

<< Theories supporting a boy: >>
* Sydnie sucks her pointer finger
* Sydnie can be a little all over the place indicating brother
* More "popped out" than with Sydnie
* Baby is more active
* Voracious appetite

At this point it seems pretty 50 / 50, hence a "borl". =)
Well I've officially passed the weight I was with Sydnie at full term. One thing I think that helped with having two pregnancies close together is I feel my stomach was still pretty elastic from the first, which I believe is what is preventing stretch marks with this one. But why does food still taste so good?!
I was treated to two amazing baby showers the other week. While I didn't expect any shower for kid #2, can't say I didn't love all the gifts =) and above all it was a really nice time with friends that made me feel so special!

Easter 2009

2009-04-27T13:03:00.000-07:00

Celebrating the resurrection... and reason to dress Sydnie up =)

Stay In!

2009-04-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

This pregnancy for the most part other than the first phase has actually been easier. Maybe my body hadn't fully adjusted to being "normal" from the first, but I don't have the pain I had in my lower back, knees, beneath my ribs, and my acid and hip aches are not as bad as they were before. And I can actually turn comfortably to wipe! haha BUT, I feel HUGE! Pregnancy clothes that did not fit me even in the last trimester with Sydnie have been fitting great for several weeks now. I know people say you show more with your second but I have to argue that if you eat three times more than what you did earlier, that formula would naturally lead to larger body proportions! Seriously my appetite has no end and I geniunely can not get full! Maybe there is a chemical imbalance in my brain. Well so much for Dr. White being concerned about me not gaining enough weight in the early phases!
This one is definitely more of a kicker than Sydnie - which is a little intimidating. I guess if it is a boy than I'll take it as a gender difference, but if its another girl and it means they are going to be more needy and difficult... oh goodness! Despite the constant belly activity, I still much prefer them staying right where they are. Maybe that's why this one is kicking so much, asking for attention I refuse to give! But goodness, the due date is coming up so soon! Is there anyway to slow time down?! I'm nervous about pre-term labor - I really just want to last all the way till our due date so we can say we still have two more months. I know... a year from now I'll be just so thankful for my TWO amazing kids, right?! Let's just hope I'm not pregnant with a third then either!!! haha
On another note, we're going to take a go at potty training Sydnie! Or at least my mom is willing to try! She actually does seem to have grasped the concept somewhat and considering her comprehension skills are pretty decent, I think she can do it. And if not, that's okay too. Hey, all of us were supposedly potty trained by one, right?! Hard part right now is no one seems to think underwear is necessary for a one-year old so Sydnie may have to go commando for a while!
These are pics from our trip to Orlando ~ Disney World!... have to say, we like our Disneyland better overall but it was a great trip!

Final Stretch...

2009-03-16T15:52:00.000-07:00

I had an ephiphany yesterday and realized that our family of three will very soon become a total four... dun dun dun (scary music). ohmigosh! I'm not ready! Not that there EVER will be a perfect time but the main reason for this sudden panic attack is I love my "just the three of us" moments... and I hate the thought of some "foreigner" invading our club! haha
Gosh, to think I felt the same way prior to Sydnie's arrival too. How dare she break up Steve & Sophia! And I'm sure my heart will come to love and adore this next one fiercely too. I definitely know I didn't remain my mom's one and only for too long! But I do know for sure I am not the type that instantly has a motherly attachment to her children from conception! Poor kids =)
Well, I can't seem to stop eating these days. I don't remember being like this with Sydnie so if my mouth insists on staying consistently busy, I'm at least trying to regulate what gets consumed. But somebody has to help me get rid of these girl scout cookies always stalking me!
I have to report on Sydnie. She sure has grown up so much. My little lady. I can't get enough of her! I wish I was keeping better track of all of her milestones. She's walking better, vocabulary and comprehension I think is pretty impressive, has a good bag of tricks to entertain you... she just started singing last week (or at least tries to copy you sing) and is also feeding herself pretty well! She can also count to ten, can recite the alphabet backwards and do jazz leaps across the living room! haha... okay, not quite there yet but yes, I have become a proud mom!

Accidents

2009-02-24T13:40:00.000-08:00

It wasn't so much of a problem the first time, but I am having serious bladder control issues with this one. If I don't empty out my bladder every hour I better hope I don't need to sneeze while walking. I should really start those pelvic exercises but when you gotta pee... you gotta pee!

In My Face...

2009-02-17T15:42:00.001-08:00

So I must share about my "God-moment" the weekend of Sydnie's dohl. All week it predicted rain for the week although up until Thursday morning it was beautiful and 80 degrees. But sure enough starting Friday the weather did a 180 switch and Saturday looked to be no exception. Even as went to the St. Regis in the morning to pick up our cake and our decor friends from White Lilac were setting up, the rain was consistently... there! Despite all the anxiety and the back and forth all week with tenting options and the promise that I would just trust and be thankful for whatever weather God provided that day, it took one last final prayer in the morning at 6:00 am to completely relinquish everything and just be thankful for our wonderful day of celebration.
Now in hindsight, I realize this was probably the only way God could make the same impact that He did but literally half hour before the first guests were scheduled to arrive the rain disappeared... and as our final guest was departing it started right up again. In between, it was absolutely perfect and beautiful! Such good luck, right? No, it was ALL God! I kept telling myself that morning, I am doubting and not trusting in the one that can just block out that single cloud with His finger for us if he wanted to as He provided perfect shade for the Israelites crossing the desert. So anyway - I needed that blatant reminder that everything is so beyond my control and I just need to trust in His providence. And even if that wasn't what He planned, I still would have been okay as it was a wonderful day for the family!
Now, I just need to perfect how to be a good hostess! I realize how much I dread this task. I am much more the behind the scenes, hide in the kitchen or behind my clipboard type of person, or sit in my corner with my group of acquaintances... but keeping a smile constantly pasted on my face, taking pictures, saying "thank you for coming" and promising to come back to them but never quite making it back to stretch out the conversation... yeah, not my forte. Well, it was still all wonderful and our Sydnie is now a one year old! Wow!!!
I don't have my pics from the dohl yet, so here are some pics from Lisa's baby shower in October:

Happy Birthday Sydnie!

2009-02-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

Sydnie is one today!
Precisely in 29 minutes...
Happy Birthday our little daughter. Can't believe you weren't even in this world a year ago and now you're a little thriving person! Umma Appa love you so so much!

Yes, It's True...

2009-01-10T14:59:00.000-08:00

We ended 2008 on a difficult note with both Sydnie and I sick ever since getting back from Hawaii. It started with a torturous stomach virus. Not sure where she picked it up but it is really quite sad to see a baby throw up. Thankfully she didn't vomit frequently but her diarrhea was non-stop for over a week... poor thing. Her butt area must have been so sore. I thought mom's were immune to their kid's being sick but I now know better. If anything I think God purposely had me experience each ailment so I can vocalize her pains for her! But I woke up at 4:00 am to run to the bathroom and didn't stop for the next 36 hours. My sister ended up with it from one of us and then my mom who says she is inpenetrable from any illness I think got it the worst. My dad too. Steve for whatever reasons was fine. So after that round, we both came down with bad colds and just closing out that bottle literally 30 days later.
So now we are nearly complete with the first month of the new year, we are quickly approaching Sydnie's first birthday! Gosh, has a year gone by that fast?! Looking back at all my insecurities and all the unknowns in my rookie months as a new mom I half want to laugh at myself because 11 months later I'm an expert veteran mom, right?! haha Well, life with Sydnie definitely makes more sense now and she is even more amazing than ever... and yes, in four months, Sydnie takes on a new role of being Big Sister! So here we go again and I'm sure my stories of being a mom of two will be a whole 'nother set of amusing stories! So here's to 2009 and more updates on the life and times of the Park family!

To Party or Not To Party...

2008-12-22T15:18:00.000-08:00

So what started as a super enthusiastic beginning to Sydnie's first birthday planning quickly fizzled and I now find myself in the middle of December. I have to admit the pressures of the depressing economy have led me to re-think the need and value of having such an elaborate birthday party. After all, the satisfacation of this party would technically be all mine, right? Well, after much deliberation and with Steve basically leaving it up to me, I've decided to go through with it! (at least I say that today) Truly, I struggle with this decision. I mean, its a good chunk of money we could apply towards something potentially more necessary. But at this point with the decision made to move forward I guess I'll proceed as planned and try to be wise and careful with each dollar. So first thing I need to work on is eliminating about 80 people off the guest list. Sadly that will probably mean cutting off a lot of my own personal friends but then again, not sure how much fun they'll have at a one year old's birthday party. For the few that know, I am an anti-eviter, but if this gets me an extra layer of cake, I guess sayonara to the customized invitations. Now do I really need entertainment for the kids or can I just start a never ending game of freeze tag?! Well here are some highlight photos from our Oahu trip earlier this month. Sydnie did great although I think we'll be heading to Maui next time. I guess the Waikiki beach hotels are older and rely on the beach for recreation so the pools were small and dinky. They wouldn't even allow us to use a floatie as it would take up too much space. We did learn on this trip that Sydnie seems to have Steve's skin tone as after a day in the sun she was already a shade darker than me!

Sydnie has no choice being appa's little throw toy!

Long Overdue

2008-11-25T20:02:00.001-08:00

Wow - I didn't mean to take this long of a break but it seems the last time I posted an entry was over a month ago! My main excuse being Steve sold his camera (yes, again) and we are still waiting for the next one to arrive. Rumour has it this one should be arriving sometime next week but without Steve's quality pictures I've been neglecting my posts as well. Well I do have some belated Halloween pics I'll at least share for now.
So as planned I was home for the month of October, which really flew by. I honestly never gave stay at home moms enough credit but from personal experience I can say that dealing with work pressures is by far so much easier than being home with a baby. I had people coming up asking if I enjoyed my break, which sounded like a joke because the last thing I'd call my October is a "break". From the moment she woke up till Steve got home, I answered only to her. I was lucky to get an email break! haha. I mentioned this to Steve the other day but how is it that babies have endless energy and how come we are so tired compared to them? I mean if you think about it they don't get that much more sleep and lets say I did take advantage of napping when she did, I bet I'd still be just as tired. I just think it is so funny how literally as soon as she opens her eyes she's alert and bouncing as if she's washed her face and feels refreshed and nothing like us wanting to hit the snooze button 10 times! Maybe something to learn from this - to approach life with more of a child-like attitude: excited for life and keep things simple?! Well, despite admitting it wasn't me just getting my nails done all the time, when my mom was able to come back, going back to work this time was actually harder. I'd say when she was younger the bonding was less as she was whatevers if I left the room. But now she shows her independece in personality while showing dependence in needing me, recognizing my importance to her, etc... so while it may mean I'm Sydnie's puppet for life, I do love being with her and making both of us happy!
As for Sydnie, she's nearing 10 months and full of tricks and entertainment! I have to say I am insanely in love with her and think she is so beyond cute! I never thought I would get this lovestruck! haha! Although I have to say I've been looking at her old pictures recently when she was about 4 - 5 months old... and she was quite ugly then! haha... okay it was the scary patchy hair!
Well, lots to update from my hiatus... I'll do my best to update more frequently in the next upcoming weeks! Happy Thanksgiving!

Cocktail Time

2008-10-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

What was scheduled to come to an end at month six was delayed until just this week... and now Sydnie is officially a formula baby - sayonara to boobmilk. Originally I continued to persist due to my initial shock when I found out how expensive formula was going to be (yes its true that decision had nothing to do with her health!) but as the days passed my milk supply became lower and lower. Technically I guess that is the best way to wean your child. I know the high producing moms will have to still go through a week of engorged pain but for me I think I literally extracted the absolute last drop out of me. So when I could finally could get nothing more out and the reality sinked in that this was really it, I was quite sad. More so because it wasn't where I had pre-determined the "last" day but my body determined that for me without consulting! It really felt like I had experienced a sudden loss in my life!
Well I am quite amazed though that for someone who wanted to breastfeed for only three months and after all the nasty early days I struggled through we made it this far. Pat on the back for me =) haha
As we also offically mark Sydnie's eighth month I'm also on my own time table to get back into my old clothes again! I'm not sure how my metabolism will change without breastfeeding but I can tell you it sure didn't do me wonders like it does some moms! When Sydnie first came I had noted if it took me nine months to get this way, I should give myself nine months to get back - well then that gives me ONE MORE MONTH!!! I guess technically its 9 1/2 months so I have a little more time. But anyway, I am on a major mission now. Two pounds a week! That isn't too ambitious right?!?! I do feel it is important for me to start making this effort. I don't feel good heavier and every picture I see of myself my face looks like a full moon or pancake! And my knees still hurt going up and down stairs! And I now have cellulite on my calves!!!

Modeling Pics

2008-10-02T20:26:00.001-07:00

Separation Anxiety

2008-10-01T12:03:00.000-07:00

Steve and I celebrated our wedding anniversary by taking a trip to Vegas... without Sydnie. Having originally made reservations when she was really young we thought by the time our anniversary came around Sydnie would have acclimated to being with my mom or sister and we would appreciate some quality time of our own. Well, I have to say as anxious as my mom was for us to return to be relieved of a hysterical Sydnie, we both could not wait for that plane to land so we could rush home and be back to being us three again.
I definitely do think it is necessary for parents to have their own time together but I don't think we'll be planning another multiple day excursion away from Sydnie anytime soon.
Isn't it funny how Sydnie has been with us for such a short time and with each passing day I become just as dependent on her as she is on us! Just as I can't imagine life without Steve, now a day without Sydnie also feels incomplete. Maybe if separation was out of necessity it would be different but we felt selfish to be going somewhere to have fun without her while she was alone and confused at home! Sorry Sydnie! I probably missed you more than you missed us but promise we'll limit our mom & dad times to bowling and movie nights instead!
On a side note, all you Vegas lovers, I honestly just can't relate. I hadn't been in six years so I was really excited about the trip but the majority of the time my eyes and nose were burning, which kept me away from the paigow table! I guess no more $4.99 prime rib buffets for me!

Sydnie started sitting up on her own recently. This video looks scripted with her final pose!

Perspective

2008-09-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

So with about four and half months to go I am starting to actively strategize for Sydnie's dohl (1st birthday) and I have to say... I am so excited! hee hee. Well I know a lot of new parents talk about how much work goes into their dohls and how exhausted they are afterwards and how they are getting to be just as expensive and elaborate as a wedding, etc, etc... Considering how cheap our wedding was, I have no doubt that Sydnie's dohl will be more expensive than our wedding! =)
But seriously, for me, I don't think I'll mind the work and efforts and I find this celebartion just as worthy if not more than a wedding! If its hard to justify the expenses based on the child not remembering anything... well who can honestly say they remember everything about their wedding day?! All I remember about our day is Steve's sweaty face and people thinking he was getting emotional at the alter when I was actually just wiping away sweat! haha
I'm not saying it is necessary to rent out Honda Center and host your own private Wiggles performance and fly everyone to Sea World for the after party... but I am treating this occasion to be important for us and am excited to prepare for it. I hope I won't feel like I need to justify any of our plans or be caught up in any comparisons. And no matter how simple or eleborate, I also don't want the planning to make me miserable and burdened but instead enjoyable and feel like in the end it was a great celebration for everyone!
Well, I'm sure I'll have more posts on this topic leading up to February. First thing on my task list though is to get our list down... Steve and I consider ourselves pretty friendless so its somewhat puzzling that our guest list is at 179 and growing!!!

Full-Time Mom

2008-09-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

I know there are many unknowns and unpredictabilities with having a child but I really didn't see this one coming... so it looks like starting October I'll be back on maternity leave. No, I did not have another baby! This is actually breaking news, so haven't even had the chance to share with work, but it seems my mom is not going to be able to continue watching Sydnie. My mom who had some pre-existing conditions is finding that watching Sydnie is aggravating her ailments. I think she was hoping she could just grit her teeth and fight through it, but with her long commute and various other discomforts I guess her pain has progressively gotten worse. So it seems the best thing now is for her to improve her health. As for me, my initial plans were to finish out the year before using up my remaining maternity leave in January, but it looks like I'll take advantage of that in October and try to figure out what we'll do with daycare in the meantime. I truly envy those families that have access to their moms to help out with their kids. I guess I just anticipated everything would go according to how I planned it, but looks like I needed another lesson in not trying to determine my own steps and course. Darn, I knew I shouldn't have been impulsive and buy that dress the other day! Haha! Yes, I know God is not circumstantial but just feel like I've gotten so comfortable with my current situation He needed to shake things up a bit. Anyway, I hope during my month off my mom can recuperate and get treatment and hopefully return in November.
For all you working moms out there I hope you do not need to struggle with the concerns of daycare. It is such a hard position to be in and what a wonderful blessing if you don't have to worry about it. For those that have experienced some of these difficult decisions it really is such an internal struggle but I guess regardless if you are a home all day or away at work, you will always be your child's number one! Well, looks like I'll be back on facebook again! haha
It has been a busy few weeks, which led me to actually ditch a week of blogging!... so I have pictures galore! Just to document Sydnie reaching her 7th month, she is enjoying the first stages of crawling; she also is pretty successful with picking up little treats with her pincher fingers and getting the treat 3 out of 10 times in her mouth. She can just about hold her own bottle and has no problem with her juice cup. Way to go Sydnie! Oh and we FINALLY got her announcements out!... will have to share about that next time...
Congratulations on a few birthdays this week! One of my old clients Shannon & Ryan had a beautiful boy - still known as BABY and coworker Kim had a 10 pound boy, William!

First brawl between Matthew & Sydnie

Executing her backward bungee jump technique but realizing there isn't a drop!

Documenting her first crawling attempts

Sad excuse for a baby pool

Battle Royale

2008-08-27T22:05:00.000-07:00

With my summer work schedule still keeping me busy Steve has been taking care of most feedings and putting Sydnie down for the night. Being home with Sydnie these past two days I found myself giving into her demands a lot more easily and I realized that some of it may stem from my guilt of not being around as much. So yesterday, every time she was whiny I would pick her up versus when I would usually just let her be. I know it wasn't just guilt... I also missed holding her, but I also started to see a brattiness developing in Sydnie she didn't have before with me. As the day continued and each time I complied with her 'pick me ups' I started thinking - Sydnie's sinful nature is emerging and she is learning the trick of manipulation! I bet she's already thinking I am putty in her hands! So today I tried to establish who was boss which led to a few early morning battles. I know it sounds ridiculous but when Sydnie started randomly crying (I think cuz I disappeared to brush my teeth) I came back and stood over her telling her to 뚝 (shush) as if I was expecting her to understand. Well my dominance must have telepathically communicated and she actually calmed down. Then minutes later while enjoying her cereal she started playing with the buckle in her chair which I took away and she started freaking out. I was thinking about leaving her to cry and even filming her but that would be bad evidence against me so I wiped her up and let her cry it out on the carpet. She has Steve's super enhanced sweat glands so within seconds her whole body was hot and this time when I saw the runny nose and monster tears I did end up picking her up... but amazingly, she was model child the rest of the day.

I know disciplining children is a lot easier said than done but I hope we can raise Sydnie to be respectful and thoughtful to certain things that are wrong and not doing what is just convenient for that moment. Hopefully our own shortcomings will not be revealed in anger or frustration but we will really strive to be Godly parents too... Otherwise, we may just be featured on Super Nanny 2012!

~ looking like a little man! ~

Girls in White Dresses

2008-08-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

Considering I get to participte in someone's wedding on a weekly basis I also get to see some of the cutest flower girls and ring boys. One of my favorites was an evening cermeony where we had candles lining the entire length of the aisle. As the little flower girl began her walk it suddenly occurs to her that there are candles all around her and candles to her are meant to be blown out! So she pauses at each one to blow them out before proceeding down to the next. Granted the bride's dramatic entry is a bit spoiled but it was absolutely the most adorable thing! Well, I personally never had the opportunity to be a flower girl. I was never considered a cute kid but the more mature acting older one. So when my sister was asked to be the flower girl for a church deacon's wedding I was so envious watching her getting her hair curled, getting to wear a pretty white dress and even wearing lipstick! Lucky! Me on the other hand tried to impress in the nicest dress I had but no way could compete with my sister who also got a special flower girl's basket with petals to toss. So yeah, I guess even after all these years I still have a complex about it! =) Well one thing as a mom you can't really do for your child is give them a chance to be a flower girl or ring boy. I mean, you can't force your child upon someone getting married and also age, time, and other circumstances will dictate if they qualify or not. I guess looks being one of them! haha. So Sydnie's best chance at the moment is her eemoh. If we can just time it right, we can get my sister to marry in about a year and half so Sydnie will be old enough to walk down the aisle on her own but yet have the toddler bobble that will give her more of the "awww" factor. I guess I've thought about this a little too much! Poor Sydnie, all this cuz mom never got to experience her own shining moment! Well should for whatever reasons my sister does not come through, then I have a daughter for rent as a flower girl! haha... Okay, that does not sound right. Gosh, hopefully this obsession doesn't consume me where I eventually start to enter her in little girl pageants! Well, considering she has dad's butt and mom's thighs she probably wouldn't make it out of the swimsuit round. haha Anyway, I know all you moms out there also secretly hoping some newly engaged couple will approach you to showcase your child at their wedding! Too bad in my sister's case, she has no choice! =)

Going for the Gold

2008-08-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

For a brief moment I had an opportunity to leave for Beijing this week and join a food & beverage team at the Olympics. Although the opportunity didn't see itself through for that short period of time, what a crazy circus of thoughts that circled my mind! Granted work was one thing, especially because this weekend was one of my most busiest weekends at work and I think my clients would have literally hunted me down amongst the billions of other Asians and dragged me back! But of course the main thing was the thought of leaving Sydnie and her dad... Steve and I had a long distance relationship prior to getting married but ever since then I've never been away from him for more than a day. And while we quickly established that Steve would take time off from work so I could leave I was wondering if there would be any way for him and Sydnie to get their visas and try joining me... I couldn't imagine passing up this opportunity but the thought of being away from Sydnie and dad for nearly half a month was something I would need to come to terms with quickly. It probably would not have even hit me until much later considering how quickly things needed to be organized. And what about breastfeeding - I assume I would need to try to figure out how to take my pump with me and convince the Chinese that it was not a bomb, and also how to transport whatever amount I would be able to pump back home with me. Well, anyway, it didn't work out and I'll look forward to hopefully going another time but in no way do I feel I have lost. How could I when I have my darling daughter giving me the most winningest smiles and grins! And I would miss my other baby a little too much too! =) But I will be prepared for Vancouver - look out Apollo Anton Ono!

Sydnie Freestyle Bungee Jumping

WWED: What Would Eve Do?

2008-08-06T16:02:00.000-07:00

I would like to try developing Sydnie's palate at an early age. One of my coordinators think kids meal options should not consist of chicken fingers and mac n cheese but be a child size portion of the filet and lobster an adult would get. And Luanna gave me a baby food cookbook where the chef reflects on growing up in Europe and how there is no such thing as bland and tasteless rice cereal, but instead they introduce them to more flavorful but natural foods from the beginning. The way I see it way back in the days of Adam & Eve, Eve really did not have other moms to get advice from! (buh rum bum, chee) haha... okay so she had God! Who knows how different kids were back then, but I'm sure she had no one telling her to give Cain and Abel rice cereal starting six months and avoid peanuts and honey until age one because of allergies and infant botulism! It is somewhat irritating to me all the suggestions/rules you have to be mindful of and it just makes you more paranoid as a parent. Well as I assume Eve relied on her natural motherly instincts, after my endless internet browsing and other mom inquisitions, I find that instict to be actually the most reliable. Not that I plan on jeapordizing Sydnie's health just to defy all the doctor's notes in my effort to prove them wrong, but I do want to be able to make a "family" meal in the near future. And apparently it was possible for that one chef so why not us?! So for now at each meal Sydnie gets a balanced plate of starches, vegetables, and fruit for dessert. Almost like a buddhist's bibimbap! While the kids sized steak & lobster is still a little ways off, the next time Sydnie eyes my Red Mango, I won't be so hesitant to give her a little small taste and anticipate her body will experience the same cleansing affects like I do! By the way, there are too many things in life where I think to myself "why didn't I think of that" and this happens to be one of those times. Introducing a trendy baby food store: Pomme Bebe It looks like the pinkberry of baby foods and a lot of is just packaging and smart marketing... and also being in the OC. But so many of these food ideas can be easily duplicated at home too! I just made Sydnie a fruit smoothie with some boobmilk and she loved it!

This isn't the most entertaining video, its actually almost eery, but this is the Sydnie-show on her monitor and if you listen carefully she is mumbling "appa"

Dollars for Sydnie

2008-07-30T15:39:00.001-07:00

Okay, I know I said I would be weaning Sydnie officially next week so in preparation I wanted to stock up on formula. Well with making her cereal and a few meals on formula currently, a pretty big can that I expected to last for a while is almost gone after just two weeks! So how much quicker will I be emptying these cans when she is exclusively on formula and her appetite gets bigger?!?! I mean, if a can of formula was just a few dollars that is one thing, but the pack of six I ordered is over $150.00! My goodness!!! Am I being cheap or are the rest of you gasping in astonishment too?! So I am rethinking the idea of weaning her. I know it is quite sad that I've come to second guess my decision not based on her health or well being but my finances! =) At least whatever few ounces I can manage would alleviate one or two feedings a day, right?
Well the formula is one thing, round two involves her baby food. I initially made her some carrots which she didn't seem to like so I decided to buy a jar to check out the consistency and taste. Oh my gosh - a tiny tiny jar was 89 cents! I tell you, this jar is smaller than a single yoplait yogurt! I can make the same amount with a 10 cent carrot! Technically I am paying for the jar, the packaging / label and pureed food that has been probably sitting on that shelf for months! I just can't get myself to pay that much money for the sake of convenience so I will do my best to be making her food from home.
And of course there are the diapers. Thanks to our cloth diapers we technically go through about only two disposable diapers a day. Steve wants me to calculate though our electric bill compared to purchasing regular diapers to see if it really is saving us. I guess he feels we use the washer / dryer too much, but I personally think even without those diapers we'd still be washing pretty frequently.
Now when it comes to things like future viola lessons or softball skills, I guess I won't be able to personally intervene with a cheaper alternative... hmm... maybe I'll just have her listen to Vivaldi and watch ESPN all the time and hope for some sort of osmosis! Time to start recycling cans and bottles to save for her wedding fund!!
Sydnie met Ryan - finally someone smaller than her! Hope Erika got a better picture of the two!
Not Sydnie's finest picture but that is why we call her our lil' gorilla!

Pain is my Middle Name

2008-07-23T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have been known to promote the masochistic side of me and take pride in tolerating pain. One time as a kid, like many other 3rd grade girls I loved playing on the bars. I loved flipping, forward, backward, cherry drop, death drop... yeah... the good ol' days. Anyway, one day while waiting for mom to finish her conversation with a friend I ran to the bars at the park wanting to practice my flips. Well the bars I found were parallel bars and stupid me never considered what would happen if I flipped on them. As I went forward full force my forehead slammed into the opposite bar and I passed out. When I came to my mom was still talking with her friend so I walked over to them and when she saw me she freaked out! Well the result was a very lumpy forehead all of 3rd grade - with pics to prove it. But masochistic me (or maybe just really stupid me) the next day during recess was right back on the bars!
So anyway, for the past few months I have had frequent spotting. The doc's office first thought it was my lining still shedding and then possibly my period starting again but with it continuing without any reason I was getting concerned. So when I finally went to see the doctor last week she discovered something that was possibly the cause of the bleeding. Well what might have been a routine procedure felt so painful! I walked out of the office wanting a wheelchair and feeling like I just went through labor all over again. So with all this said, I guess my point is after giving birth, I think I have turned into a wimp! he he
No in all seriousness, I was a little nervous about what the doc would find. The internet has too much information and as I am married to a regular self diagnoser, reading all the possibilities of what the cause of my bleeding could possibly be was not sitting well with me. We're still waiting for the culture results to come back from the lab but doc white feels confident I am cured now. It just goes to remind me again how important health is.
Well we have our first real family trip scheduled. San Francisco was just a practice run in preparation for our December trip to Hawaii. Sydnie will be 10 months by then! Amazing... She's already babbling and sounds like she'll be saying "appa" soon!

Having fun with Sydnie...

Hee hee... our little gorilla exercising her arms...

Maybe I'm a mean mom but I get a kick out of her crying... she's trying to tell me something though...

Eight Eight O Eight

2008-07-16T15:47:00.000-07:00

Friday, 08/08/08 Sydnie is six months old. The day will also sadly end my career as Sydnie's 맘마(food)... Well on the positive, it'll mean good bye to pumping at work, clogged ducts, and all the various aches and pains I've associated with breastfeeding these past few months. But for someone that never even wanted to breastfeed in the first place in fear of super saggage and really trivial superficial stuff, I am really going to miss the bonding moments I've been able to share with Sydnie. I actually would love to continue but as I even to this day struggle with my milk supply and duct problems, I consulted with Steve last week and consented that I have been stubborn long enough and it is finally time to throw in the towel. Regardless of my difficulties though I am so thankful to see our healthy daughter with her chubalicious thighs and arms that remind me of pat & oscar breadsticks (fat and doughy!) And although she already has battled a few colds in her short life, I credit breastmilk for her speedy recoveries.
So the ultimate decision was made when Steve being the ever active dad surprised us with a baby scale. I guess one of those luxuries I never planned on purchasing, but I was excited to use it and see how much Sydnie was eating. I was also hoping it would ease my mind considering how horrible my production was with pumping. So we started with the right side and were really excited to see she consumed about 3 1/2 ounces. Then left side... no change on scale. Tried again... nothing. Maybe the scale isn't working, let's put a towel on her to see if it moves... okay it does ~ so does that mean she got nothing from the left?!?! I started to feel depressed. We tried it again the next feeding and same result. So it seemed my left boob was truly dead and it wasn't really the pump's fault nothing was coming out.
So I hope to eek it out for another few weeks - hang in there righty! I had an epiphane today... its funny how we started this cycle with supplementing with formula and as we come to closing the cycle we're needing to do the same thing!
In my finite thinking I am truly amazed at God's creativity in not only allowing us to be a source of food for our children (as difficult as it may sometimes be) but also provide comfort and strengthen our bond with them! Now I just need to prepare for possible torture that weekend - I hope it is not too painful! Any tips?!

Sydnie went swimming for the first time this week!

Wow... five months already

2008-07-09T18:30:00.000-07:00

Before Sydnie was born I used to say that I would be the first to admit if my child was not cute. Of course that wouldn't detract from how much I loved them as a parent but I never understood how some parents thought theire kids were the cutest things in the world when it was pretty obvious to me that they weren't! Well, now I am starting to understand. In my eyes everything Sydnie does is just so darn cute!

Some of my favorite things she does is when she smiles with the tip of her tongue sticking out and her eyes get super chinky from smiling so hard. Or when you can see her hair spikes sticking up out of her crib and her head is bobbing up and down like she's cruising on a wave and then she spots you and gives you a huge toothless grin. I even get such a kick out of the BIG tears that pool around her eyes when she's crying. But of course because of my former life of being a baby racist (now reformed) when people call Sydnie cute I can't help but wonder... "do they really mean that?!" I have a friend that uses the word "precious" to reference the babies where you just don't know how to describe. So if you ever call Sydnie precious, you may actually see me cringe a little. Of course now that I've made this public, I have to be careful and avoid calling another baby precious too! =)
Steve read somewhere that seeing a baby's smile stimulates a part of your brain that makes you feel like you are on a drug high. I guess that would make some sense considering when Sydnie wakes us up around six in the morning and we're not quite ready to join her, she'll give us this huge smile and that refreshes us!
Well I don't know when it happened, but Sydnie is now five months! Physically she's army scooting and flips and flops with no problem. She is also starting the first phase of sitting up on her own, which Steve can not wait for! She'd doing well with rice cereal and her poop is definitely starting to show the change in diet (joy).
It has been so busy at work for me, this week I barely got to see her a total of one hour which depresses me. This was a geniune fear for me returning to work but I thought being conscious of it would help me avoid it... but unfortunately it seems to be reality for me right now. In hindsight... if I could do this all over again and I know what I now know I would have tried to get pregnant during busy season at work and return when it was slower. For now I just come home and vent to Steve and am just thankful that in my absence it is my mom that spends the day with her.
Happy five months our 'precious' Sydnie! hah You are almost half a year old!

Sydnie in prison

Big Girl Sydnie

2008-07-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

Life was already moving so fast as it was but watching Sydnie's growth and development makes the speed of time so much more tangible. I figure at my age five months doesn't change you much plus or minus a few pounds for all of us with mild eating disorders. But Steve and I were watching footage of her as a "baby" and its so amazing how much she has changed! And you know, I would have to agree that for the most part you do forget what the earlier days were like! I'm sure when my blogging days are over I'll print out all my entries and laugh at what a mess I was. I'm thankful Sydnie has made our "having a baby" experience for the most part, pretty enjoyable. At least pleasant enough where we're thinking about #2. I asked a friend who delivered a few days before us when they were planning for their next and she just gave me the most evil look. haha. A lot of people tell me they seem to bond more quickly and enjoy their second a little more just because you are not as timid and more experienced... I know bonding with Sydnie took some time for me but I'm glad as a family we started having fun pretty quickly. Sometimes I like Sydnie so much I kinda DON'T want another person to enter our clique but then again, that's how I felt about things when it was just Steve and me too.
Well work is getting busier. In some ways I like it but when 5 pm hits and I know I still have a pile of paperwork on my desk, I start to panic a little. Steve prefers I stay home but I like knowing I have an income too! My intentions were always to go back to work in time to help with the summer season but I do need to be mindful now that I'm not giving more to work than I give to my family, which I did frequently. It doesn't help that I still fit in one suit, so the only thing I change about my daily outfit is the top I wear underneath my jacket!
Well Sydnie's latest thing is she is rolling around and waking herself up during her naps. But it is so funny watching her butt in the air waving around! We've used a blanket over her when she's sleeping but I guess I'll have to remove that soon. We're going to change her over to the regular seat stroller from the bassinet this week too. She's going to feel all grown up!
Erika had her baby boy yesterday! Yay! Hope we can go see her and check out the new Kaiser facilities too! She was working out right up until so I'm sure she was super strong in the delivery room!

These pics are from Sydnie's photographer eemoh, Min Mi. Unfortunately after two attempts at the studio we had to do our session at home so we missed out on some of the cuter studio shots. Below is what Sydnie thinks of mom & dad who force her to take pictures!

We did get one decent one from the studio though!

If you need a family portrait or pics for your kids, Min Mi is wonderful. I do get my fair share of interaction with photographers so I think I can pretty knowledgeably say her work is excellent and the packages she offers are awesome! If I ever start my own business she is definitely on my preferred vendor list!

Trial by Error

2008-06-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

The family traveled for the first time together and went up to San Francisco just for a day. My friend Jen Jeon was getting married and after debating whether we should leave Sydnie with my parents, we decided it was a short enough trip to take her with us. So I guess to avoid their ears from hurting with the pressure change you should have the baby suck on a bottle, pacifier, etc... during take off - Take off was around Sydnie's feeding time so I decided to try to feed her - the only problem was from the time the plane started to move to the actual time we were on the runway, she was done eating! So while she wanted nothing more of the boob, I was frantically trying to shove it back in her mouth! I guess I got a little paranoid but beyond the pain she would feel I was more panicked at her crying and people giving us dirty looks! haha! Regardless, either way, it turned out fine and on the way back she ate and fell asleep the rest of the way. We tried our best to travel lightly but definitely not as easy. We saw so many families with strollers and car seats on top of strollers... goodness - no wonder they let you pre-board! Even from this short trip, I learned a few lessons about traveling with a baby.
1) If you have a large stroller, even if you have to borrow, take a light travel stroller instead. We have the bugaboo which we love but not great for travel purposes. You can buy the transport bag and check it in but that's not that cheap either. On the way back we just ended up getting two gate check in tickets, but it would have been easier had we just had a light stroller.
2) Wasn't sure how Sydnie would take to a foreign crib and we definitely were not going to be bringing her pack n play for a day trip. So we took the crib sheet saver she uses to give her something familiar. Not sure that was the reason, but she slept well! Love this crib sheet saver thing by the way. Its such a pain to wash and change out her sheets all the time, especially if she spits up, so this thing is great to lay flat near the head area and wash this only.
3) A light diaper bag is a must! Well this one is my fault because I took the petunia pickle bottom CAKE, which my sister got me. This one already weighs 10 pounds empty! Okay not that much but either way, lesson learned to take something light or your shoulders will DIE.
4) It does help to have the baby in a carrier, especially at the airport. I personally have never used a bjourn but my baby carrier was great for me since I could just roll it up in a ball once we got in the plane.
5) I've gotten a little dependent on my brest friend when feeding Sydnie, so finding a travel version was great! We also used it on the plane and once Sydnie fell asleep while eating she continued to sleep right on it and my arms were free. It did help having Steve blowing it up for me but it takes less than a minute.

So whoever says life is over after kids, I would have to disagree... it was very nice to share our first family trip together and hopefully there will be many more!

this one is appa's new favorite pic of sydnie!

unHappy Fathers Day

2008-06-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

I spent this past weekend with a fever and Steve spent his first official dad day taking care of Sydnie the entire time. I think my body was shocked from sudden exposure to outside civilization now that I'm back at work.

We even had to cancel our dinner plans the next day for him, but as usual, he was a trooper and enjoyed his exclusive appa time with Sydnie.

me sick with sydnie on my lap

I can now understand why some women who are ill or in extreme pain after labor might not get to breastfeed. I've never had to care for anyone else when I've been sick so it was very hard to get up and feed Sydnie every few hours. I didn't want to hold her other than feeding time so she kept on giving me her upside down U face when I would look over at her.
But I think with a combination of going back to work and getting sick my boobs died. Sydnie was unhappy every time she was trying to eat and my mom would tell me she felt light, which made me even sadder. I started taking fenugreek a few days ago and I think it is helping. Its a lot to take - basically two capsules three times a day. But since yesterday Sydnie hasn't been fussy when eating. Some of the side effects I hear is you start to smell like maple syrup but I think I smell like curry! Of course that would happen to me!

We also finally started her on cloth diapers after going through our great supply of disposables that friends have given us. So far so good! I have ten total and it seems to be enough where we need to wash only every other day and we'll still use the disposables for sleeping. Bum Genius is the way to go! Sydnie's butt looks pretty gigantour though when she's sleeping on her tummy.

Sydnie got her first taste of rice cereal this week - with my dead boob, thought it might be a good time to start the cereal to give her some more substance. I guess its pretty obvious that we weren't too prepared with our plastic spoon from PF Changs! Thanks Susie for the cereal! Sydnie did great though and only showed frustration when we were too slow feeding. Girl's got attitude.

Four Month Checkup

2008-06-10T14:49:00.001-07:00

We had Sydnie's four month checkup and shots.
She's in the 95th percentile for her height but pretty average with her weight in the 55th percentile and her head is in the 30th percentile. Steve was a little bummed that her head size grew a bit from her two month where she was in the 20th percentile! haha

Work is already starting to feel busy. It wasn't so horrible being apart from Sydnie but considering I don't get to keep her to myself anymore I definitely didn't feel like sharing her once I was home!
Well as a mom with four months experience, I wanted to share just a few of my personal 'can't live without' things that have kept me afloat these past months!:
* Chick Fil A: This place is truly a testimony to how God is faithful to those that are faithful to Him... even though they close every Sunday, Steve and I frequent this place Monday thru Saturday! They are good for any time of the day and their food is always fresh and healthy and light. My favorites are the chick-n-minis and breakfast burrito for breakfast and their chargrilled chicken & fruit salad is pretty yummy. I like the berry balsamic vinaigrette. They have a sweet but good lemon pie and also serve southern sweet tea! Go Chick Fil A!
* Tiny Love: Sydnie loves the symphony mobile for the crib and we also have a clip n go mobile we can attach to pretty much anything!
* Genesis Spa Pedicure: Nicky is the person to ask for there - she gives the BEST pedicures lasting nearly a month! And their prices are great at $19 for a mani / pedi combo.
* Lecithin: GNC sells a decent sized bottle and good price - these are great for frequent clogged ducts. It definitely has made a difference for me. Frequent clogged ducts can be an indication that the fat in your body is clogging up your ducts (meaning I am FAT!) - the lecithin seems to help suspend the fat for you.
I'll continue to share my favorites in future entries!

Sydnie was also baptized this past Sunday! She was very well behaved.

As easy as it will be to be consumed with grades, appearance, etc... I hope Steve and I can be most successful and most satisfied in raising our Sydnie as a woman of God and pleasing and loving Him!

So many fun and creative gifts for babies! The traditional but elegant diaper cake, a bouquet made out of onesies and baby socks, and a doll made out of cloth diapers, dressed in a onesie, tutu and ballet slippers!

Welcome Back

2008-06-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

After four exclusive months of physical pains, emotions, and intense joys with Sydnie, today was my first day back to work! The skirt that I chose to wear was tighter than I hoped but seemed to be my only option without going into my bin of maternity clothes - and not that I enjoy wearing nylons but it was actually nice being able to wear normal nylons for once.
Leaving Sydnie this morning wasn't too difficult but I think the hard part isn't so much the first day but when I find myself spending more hours in the office than I do with Sydnie. Hopefully I can better balance the two... I've technically known my little girl for only four months and I think it is way too early to treat her as if we've been "dating" for years!
So as I sit here updating our blog, I am also nursing a very angry clogged duct(s). One of the feared ramifications of returning to work and trying to pump came true the first day back. Apparently my boob does not enjoy being BF's with the pump =). I did leave the office a little early hoping I could get Sydnie to help with the relief but we were unsuccessful. Gosh, what to do if this continues?!?! Well we'll try again tomorrow. For today, I'm going to have to take a few more advil and hope sleep will overcome the pain.
Other than that, work was relatively quiet for day one. I did have to stop myself a few times from calling home to see how my mom and Sydnie were doing. And pumping at my desk is very strange considering how exposed you feel! No, I'm not pumping in the open but even still, its just weird! My sister always gets on my case for sharing TMI in our blog but I just found myself laughing today realizing that I can no longer pass gas freely like I would at home! haha! I'm so sorry for any of my coworker friends reading this but pregnancy has increased my intenstinal turbulence and I have to remind myself now that my work appearance also includes not smelling like last night's broccoli! haha... sorry!
Well I have to keep this entry short and try to go get this plug out before tomorrow! Ughh! I'll try to post an update before the week ends. Here are some pictures of Sydnie - we're trying to pose her for her birth announcements. We weren't too successful but we think she still looks so cute! =)

Best Friends Forever...

2008-05-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

Steve was not too happy this weekend as both Sydnie and I were bombing him with our bang-gu(s) so he couldn't escape the smelly wrath of his ladies! What was funny is that sydnie's smelled identical to mine! Although I don't think Steve found that to be too amusing... I must have had something that didn't sit well with me but poor Sydnie had to suffer the same consequences!
I have to say I am loving this cool weather. If you are a person that prefers the heat my theory is you must like your arms. That way when its hot, you have no problem putting on a tanktop. Me personally, I have always preferred covering up but especially with my extra weight I feel a lot of jiggling in my arms and upper back! I have resorted to purchasing some jergens gradual tanning body lotion to try to create an optical illusion around my flab... while that may help a little with the visual appearance, I am in for a huge reality check when I try on my work suits next week! Gosh I hope something fits!!!
Of course that isn't my biggest worry. I just can't believe it's already time to go back! It was so nice not having to work Memorial Day weekend for once! I know its highly unlikely but I torture myself into thinking I will no longer be Sydnie's favorite person! =) There really is something so rewarding about knowing someone prefers you over anyone else (well except her dad of course...) So I guess a part of me fears not being her one and only BFF. I also hate thinking I might have to hear about some of her "firsts" second hand so I was extra thrilled when she rolled and giggled for us last week! As overwhelming as the responsibility of being her parent is, I'm even more overwhelmingly committed to the role so I'm not really liking the idea of seeing her for just a few short hours each day. Steve and I used to say that we spend more time with our co-workers than we do each other but at least we could email and talk on the phone... maybe I'll take my baby video monitor to work and have my mom just keep it on Sydnie all day! haha
So starting next week, my new BF will be my breastpump =)
I'm sure many moms go through these same mental struggles and each comes to their own decision. I actually really like my job so it isn't just about a paycheck but the professional accomplishments I enjoy. Perhaps that is my pride speaking. Well no need to be hasty. My faith is so lacking to be worrying so much about this and I should trust there already is a perfect course laid out for me. Ultimately I know I am still way too consumed with ME but I hope to decrease that, be more prayeful, and as cliche as it always sounds - trust in God!
Sneeze - Phase I
Sneeze - Phase II

of course Steve thinks she looks more like me here!
End Sneeze

rolling over documented - umma is much more animated!

giggling with appa in between hiccups

Breaking apart...

2008-05-19T23:10:00.000-07:00

I have toe nail fungus.
Please examine Exhibit A.
Its bad enough having an infection on my boobs but I guess my body is susceptible to any similar infection... not sure where I got it from. The girl I go to for pedicures thinks it was from another salon that used dirty tools (nasty!). Steve thinks it's from his athletes foot! Wherever its from I've been reading up on it and was told to soak it in Listerine. What all the websites failed to mention was that the blue one stains your feet! AHHHHH!!! And I literally soaked my feet forever! I pumped, painted my nails, watched Dancing with the Stars... If you see me in sandals and blue feet, please don't smirk!
The fungus is just one of many ailments in my ongoing saga. So remember I mentioned my achy knees? Well apparently it is because I am overcompensating for my weak hips! I must sound like a hypochondriac but I really am not exaggerating. What am I getting at?!?! Before pregnancy & labor, sure I complained about pains here and there but I never knew that having a baby not only affects your physical appearance but really does a number on all the other parts of your body! Per my personal experience, I say don't fool yourself with an epidural thinking you just need to get through labor because it is possible that is just the beginning of all your fun!
You know another thing is pregnancy these days is really not an excuse for "eating for two". Maybe because I carried weight all over and not just in the middle, but I did feel more self conscious about my weight gain. And I hated being compared to someone that was due around the same time, especially if she was a lot smaller! I mean, it's not like you can suck in your stomach nor can you start dieting! And the same goes for after having the kid... now its about who loses the weight faster. I have many friends that delivered around the same time I did and it can get quite depressing to hear that so and so is thinner than ever, while I stand in front of the mirror deceiving myself into thinking my stomach looks pretty okay but then I sit down and I have a flubby tire around my waist... or better yet if I flick my stomach it'll jiggle uncontrollably. And please stop saying they lost it because they are breastfeeding because I am too and that makes me feel worse! =)
But you know what?!?! I love being Sydnie's mom! =) So maybe one day I'll have to submit an entry for Extreme Makeover because I've let myself go after being so absorbed with family, but for now I'll live and accept what I've got! And we celebrated Sydnie's 100 day this past weekend! The family enjoyed a nice dinner at the St. Regis - it was nasty hot but hopefully we'll have some nice pictures to share soon. Oh and she flipped and giggled for us this week! Yay baby!!! Happy 100 days our Sydnie!

Appa and Sydnie's flexibility
Sydnie in her Mother's Day outfit

I love my Tiny Love Symphony mobile

I also love my hand
And I love Appa!

Reaching a Mommy Milestone

2008-05-12T23:09:00.000-07:00

This past week was... actually quite uneventful! Does that mean I am coming to terms with being a mom?!?! How appropriate with this past Sunday being Mother's Day =) Well I'm sure the week itself had its usual Sydnie ups and downs but rather than feeling like someone's driving a stake through me, it actually is becoming more the norm and what I consider to be my life! It really is quite amazing that we all eventually settle into this new life. I'm sure all the seasoned moms reading this blog are thinking "newbie" as you read about my anxieties and chaos. Well things are far from being perfected, and I know I'll be learning something new EVERYDAY(!) forever, but I remember when Sydnie was a week old thinking three months seemed SOOOOO far away and never thought we would be able to make it this far without completely falling apart! Well, here we are and for the most part, still intact!
So the new D-Day for me is the return to work day, which is scheduled for June. I ask myself everyday, can I really do it?! Well I hear a few more women at work announced they were expecting. You know, even though men are just as responsible, if its not your own wife, I wonder if they are thinking... "another woman pregnant!". I think if I was a man, I would. I actually felt a little guilty towards work when I did get pregnant. It was already hard enough to balance home and work life even before and now reaching this juncture has me rethinking what is really of importance... I do find myself envious of those family situations where both mom & dad have the luxury of working from home or at least being able to be home the majority of the time. I seriously should have gone to study graphic design... or win the lotto! =)
Steve got a new camera (again) so I have high expectations for our pictures from this point forward...
I think I mentioned it before, but Sydnie is infatuated with staring at her hand
Someone said drooling indicates good digestion... if that's the case, Sydnie must have awesome digestion! She is slobbergirl!

Perfect to Mommy

2008-05-05T21:04:00.000-07:00

I've been high fiving myself thinking I avoided getting any stretch marks when a few days ago I realized a red mark I have on my side wasn't just an indentation left from my jeans but a stretch mark! Okay, I guess if it took me this long to figure it out it probably won't be attracting anyone else's attention so I shouldn't be complaining but no more high fives!
I was hoping not to fall victim to the aches and pains, but I'm no exception and I now see how brutal having a baby is on your body - damn that Eve! My mom used to tell me it felt like all the bones in her body were shattering and granted my choice of words aren't as colorful, but even with modern medicine there's no stopping the fear that grips you when you have to go to the bathroom with hemmorhoids or feeling like you need a hip replacement when trying to get up off the ground. Lately I've experienced my knees creaking when I come down the stairs in the morning. I actually feel like I should now stretch before coming down! To tell the truth for vanity purposes I really didn't want to breastfeed - and yes, I was conscious about getting stretch marks. So to witness the various transformations in me, both phsyical and emotional/mental has been a pretty unpredictable yet amazing journey! I never thought I could geniunely not care about myself so much! haha! But despite my body falling apart seeing how perfect Sydnie is make my conditions so trivial. Every time she successfully reaches a milestone on schedule, I'm thankful. Who knows what paranoia I'd be going through if she wasn't jumping at steve's atomic sneezes or making eye contact when I'm playing with her. I remember in the beginning Sydnie's nipples were so faint to the point I thought she was born without any! Well that isn't the case but I'm sure if Sydnie had a weak heart or something, the last thing I would care about were her faint nipples! So to me, she is perfect. =) And transferring my desires over to her, my hope she can avoid mom's flaws and ugly qualities and become a wonderful person... hopefully more humble and thoughtful with her decisions, respected by her peers, a joy to her parents (haha), and of course a Godly woman.
But speaking of my physical changes, I have to comment on one I am currently struggling with. So after a clogged duct for about two days this weekend, it seems my left boob has died! I have now seen a preview of what post-breastfeeding might look like and it's not National Geographic caliber but definitely will need major underwire support. Anyway, here's my problem, everyone tells me there is no way that one side could dry up simply from two days of lack of activity but I can tell from her frustration nothing is coming out. Now lets just say it really is dead, the dilemma is do I still continue feeding her off of the right side that is producing? That means I might end up with one shriveled and one plump! Ahhhh! Well, I'm going to keep at it and hopefully it will come back to life and if it doesn't... then I'm sure you'll be able to tell... ugh!

I beleive we reach three months this week so here are some current Sydnie facts:
* has been shedding for the past few weeks (its sad but so cute too!)
* currently pushing herself up and likes to do superman on her stomach
* still sleeping incredibly well
* found a dimple in her right cheek under her flubber
* loves to stare at her left hand as if its a foreign object
* smiles at herself in the mirror
* enjoys watching basketball (it must be the back and forth)

Sunday will be our first mother's day! Still feel detached from this day but guess I'm now a mom too! =) Oh and Happy 어린이 날 (children's day)!

Seeing Eye to Eye with Britney Spears

2008-04-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

Sydnie went to her first bday party - Sofia turned one so we went up to LA to celebrate. The drive up was great and although she was a bit overwhelmed with so many faces at once, she was pretty good. The return trip home however was a terrifying combination of LA traffic, clogged duct pain, and ear piercing/crushing my heart wailing baby! So here I am trying to soothe Sydnie with one hand, while strategically positioning myself away from the window and pumping with the other. To Steve's dismay, I ended up pulling a Britney Spears and pulled Sydnie out of her car seat. My clogged duct chose that moment to unclog (to my physical relief) but I was spraying milk like a busted fire hydrant so must make note to wash my sister's clothes before returning them... sorry Amenda. Back to peace at home =)
So here's another lesson learned... how come no one told me to avoid those wind up mobiles?!?! I seriously thought I got a defective one because mine lasted for just a couple minutes and I would have to get up and rewind it over and over again. I highly encourage anyone expecting to ignore the mobile that matches your bedding and go with the Tiny Love Symphony mobile... that is, if your purpose for the mobile is for it to be used to entertain your child so you can get a few things accomplished without feeling like you're neglecting them. If you don't necessarily care about that and just want something cute, then by all means go for the wind up mobile, but I guarantee you will be getting up every few minutes and feeling more frustrated than productive!
Early in the week Steve watched a report on GMA where it recommends parents speak 17,000 words a day to their baby although 30,000 is preferred! I read up on it further and it says that babies who are talked to more have higher IQ scores and do better in school... partly because smarter parents talk more to their kids. Well poor Sydnie has a mute for a mom at home so hope that doesn't imply anything! Of course you have to take all these studies with a grain of salt but according to this report, assuming the baby is awake 12 hours a day, that comes out to 42 words per minute nonstop every waking minute! I tell you - this parent thing really can be more than a full time job depending on how you approach it. Well thankfully our conversations are becoming more two-sided as Sydnie is becoming so much more talkative, so maybe combined we can reach 17,000 together! =)

appa & sydnie time

Two Kids

2008-04-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

We now have two children: Steve's 13 year old and our 10 week old... well technically 13 dog years. The inlaws are in Korea until next Monday so Yooree, Steve's dog, has been with us since last week. She's typically calm, but also suffers from random yet severe anxiety. It usually is triggered by fireworks or thunder and as a result a few doors and rugs became sad casualties. But she's fine as long as she's not alone... So going out now means packing up the WHOLE family!
So a friend sent me an article about a mom that makes $$$ through her blog via advertising. It sounds like a great idea but I empathize with her struggles (i.e., invasion of privacy, writers block, sensitivity to negative comments, etc...) Plus I don't think the few visitors I have to this blog would generate that much ad revenue! For now I enjoy sharing our lives with whoever comes to visit our site but I figure eventually my updates will be less frequent as Sydnie acclimates to everyday life and she becomes boring like all of us! haha But it does continually have me thinking about my perfect stay at home job. I think I might actually have something brewing in my head!

Sydnie and her pointer finger

Well, I've heard many complain about the pain from breastfeeding, but that only scratches the surface of breastfeeding woes for me. Here is a list of my "breastfeeding blues":
1. dry skin: not sure breastfeeding is really the cause but my hands and face feel like I washed them with clorox!
2. clogged ducts: you've heard enough about these, but they completely drain me - it takes minimum 12 hours to clear one of these
3. milk blisters: blister on your nipple - popping a pimple has nothing on these unless you pop your pimples with needles!
4. food limitations: I love SPICY food and the one day Sydnie would not stop crying was the day I had a spicy noodle dish so now I'm not willing to risk our sanity by eating spicy food again. Also lately all everyone talks about is that coffee drink from McD's! Steve's obsessed with them. Well I fear Sydnie might be sensitive to caffiene so I won't even let myself drink that either! Very sad...
5. birth control: apparently breastfeeding being natural birth control is a misconception so that's one more pill I'll have to take!
6. sagging: well I knew this was inevitable. It hasn't started sagging... yet! right now its reached a triangular stage =)
I can go on and on! But with all that said I'll gladly go through this knowing that she is thriving and healthy. She never looks more beautiful to me than when she is peacefully eating or pounding on my chest with her fisted hand. And I am continually amazed at God's perfect workmanship in allowing our bodies to produce nourishment for our children while bonding with them. I only hope I can be more successful with pumping so when I do go back to work I can continue being her food source! Speaking of pumping, I've become so absent minded these days, I was pumping the other day and forgot to attach the bottles to the pump parts so I was spewing milk all over my pajamas!!! All that good milk gone to waste!!!

I love these two pics of her! Power to the people! hee hee

We've Reached Two Months!

2008-04-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

I have to continue telling myself that I'm not going to be the first mom to not be able to figure nap schedules, breastfeeding, playtime, etc... right?!?! I sure hope not! =)
Well, here are some two month mark notables:
* she goes down for the night around 8:30ish and will sleep pretty much through the night (its amazing that she can distinguish night sleeping from her naps)
* has started to suck on her hand, mainly her pointer finger to put herself to sleep
* getting very talkative and expressive
* the biggest thing for me is how much more we have bonded over this one month! i really like her a lot now! =)
And I've hit a glorious milestone of my own! I finally started to shed again! Whoo hoo! I know its a strange thing to be happy about but starting my final trimester I was shedding no more than one or two strands of hair and the thought that I was retaining all this hair was grossing me out! It looks like my normal shedding routine is returning!
Here is another thing that no one tells you about... I never knew there were different sizes to the breast pump until yesterday. Apparently its based on your nipple size so I guess everyone I know must have a standard 24 mm nipple, while mine are abnormally large!!! Well I hope trying a different size will help with my pumping dilemmas.
Just a random thought but I'm glad I've been using this blog to "journal" weekly as I realize you really do quickly forget... and its only been a short two months for us!

our dog yooree and sydnie (they both look so serious!)

sydnie enjoyed her first picnic this sunday!

for some reason she likes taking her medicine - it must taste sweet

8 Weeks v. 2 Months

2008-04-06T22:44:00.000-07:00

Sydnie turned 8 weeks on Friday, but she won't be considered two months until Tuesday, the 8th... so confusing!
Well either way, it is amazing that she has already reached this age! Cliches are there for a reason and I find myself frequently thinking how big she is getting!... or perhaps that just shows how fast my own life is moving!
Because of my thrush I am constantly applying creams, rinsing with baking soda solutions, air drying - all quite tedious! So I'm actually topless most of the day at home for obvious reasons (yes I know that is a disurbing image!) I just hope I'm not putting on a show for our neighbors! But at this point I'll do pretty much anything to clear up this thrush and prevent clogged ducts!

Sydnie now holds on to dad while sleeping

2008-03-30T15:06:00.000-07:00

At seven weeks, Sydnie has started her first job! Mom seems to have a problem with freqent clogged ducts and it seems the only relief is via Sydnie. She of course is rewarded with milk money! Seriously though, I lose more sleep over these clogs and at its worst, it is just as bad as labor pain! We also had our six-week doc visit and she came in measuring 70th percentile for her weight and height. Steve is most proud that her head measures in the 20th percentile but who knows if that is an indication of the end size... hopefully Steve's fears of giant head child won't come true! =) She also got her first five shots. That nurse was so speedy... she might as well have just grabbed all five in one hand and stabbed at the same time! Sydnie tolerated the pain very well though and seemed more stunned than bothered by the experience.
Her poos are still very infrequent, but when she goes it can probably drown a little town! She hasn't gone for six days now so getting very nervous! Another milestone is her hands are no longer fisted and she has them more unfurled. I already miss her just newborn stage

10 pounds

2008-03-22T21:24:00.001-07:00

Update: Easter Sunday! We almost didn't make it to church because I was suffering from an awful clogged duct and Sydnie decided to throw a tantrum and woke up at 4 am refusing to go back to sleep - so when I came back upstairs after my failed attempts of unclogging, I found Steve giving Sydnie a time out! The day improved for all of us and Sydnie enjoyed her first dress from Auntie Eileen!

Sydnie and I went to see the lactation consultant today and she's now a whopping 10 pounds 1 ounce! But it seems we have a case of thrush, which explains the pain I still feel with feeding. So we have to use the same stuff Steve uses for his athlete's feet on the boob and her mouth!
Starting last week Sydnie stopped pooing everyday, which we read was normal around five weeks. She went about two days without pooing and when she finally went it was at least three inches deep! No Joke! and it was everywhere! She skipped yesterday and then went again today. Not sure of the depth this time because I had just finished wiping her when she shot out another big dose right in my hand! Its all so wonderful... =)

Her first documented smile... she's been super smiley.

She failed her first hearing test so was retested this week... she can now hear!

Bonding

2008-03-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

Each day passes by so quickly and yet because of the cyclical nature of my days, I don't feel like I get much done or make progress. I just realize April will be here before I know it and I'll have to start thinking about returning to work... the question is will I mentally still be where I was in January or feeling a little more ready to move forward?!

Today was Sydnie's first time at church, although with her feeding time we didn't get to church until the message was over! haha. Each day's schedule is pretty consistent and then comes the weekend... hopefully with time we'll adapt and learn to balance everything or at least not burn ourselves out if we can't stick to "the schedule".
This week was the first time being on our own. Longer outings are one thing but running errands like bank deposits prove to be a little more difficult since I can't just leave her in the car! As for our first trip to the mall I was a little intimidated with setting up the carseat and stroller on my own, but figured I needed to start somewhere! I parked super far so no one would see me struggle and laugh but other than a few bruises, I showed signs of improvement by the end of the day! I also got to mingle as mom! Nordstrom has a mother's lounge and its pretty amazing as you see a continous parade of strollers going in and out and everyone whips out their hooter hiders to feed! I ended up meeting a woman that is Korean, lives around the corner from us, and her daughter is just three weeks older than Sydnie! While chatting she mentioned things really just clicked for her and she was struggling with the exact same issues I am now!... I guess there is quite a bit of support you gain from networking with other moms.
Getting back in shape is still a challenge and it seems the best thing is to take walks with Sydnie. Otherwise have to figure out who can stay with her, be sure I won't be engorged... a friend mentioned something I'll take to heart and that is it took us 9 months to get like this, so give it at least another 9 months to get back!
Well, Sydnie will get to wish Steve "happy birthday" for the first time this week!

Sydnie meets her great~halmuni!

Sydnie and Matthew finally meet... first bonding session

Hanging out with cousin Ryan

Happy One Month!

2008-03-08T08:55:00.001-08:00

Few noteworthy one month milestones and markers:
1. Not certain of her actual weight but clothes that once barely hung on her tiny shoulders are fitting more comfortably. Nice big cheeks (like umma) and she's developing her third chin. Looks like we'll be transitioning to the next stage of diapers in a week or two.
2. Showing off strong neck muscles, which appa is pretty proud of!
3. Enjoys car rides, baths, and bjourn time with appa.
4. Still sleeping well at night. If she continues at this pace, looks like we can eliminate night time feeding soon and allow her to sleep all the way through!
5. Twists and contorts her tongues in weird shapes like appa

As for me, I start pilates Tuesday! Wonder how many pounds I can shed in one session?! With my mom here, food intake was pretty regulated, but with Steve, I think we've gone through a few boxes of twinkies and he's made at least 5 batches of rice krispy treats for us!
I still deal with constant questions but now that I realize how quickly time is passing, I try to enjoy each day with Sydnie more rather than obsessing over getting all the details right. Its almost heretical to say, but bonding wasn't immediate for me, although I do have a few friends that shared the same sentiments. Seeing her poo and pee well is most rewarding though and every day she takes more of my heart!
As of this week its been easier to chat with her, especially with her improved eye contact. And when I run out of things to say, we've been reading the bible! Ha! I've been so inconsistent in reading the bible for so long... even at infancy, Sydnie is being used by God to be a blessing!
Meeting Erin, her first dong-kap friend
The infamous picture of appa and baby sleeping together

Week 3 Faces

2008-03-01T09:33:00.001-08:00

I still am not quite sure what Sydnie looks like. I know her sleeping image quite well... but then she has her sad old person burping face, tired eyes throughout the day, her evil eye stare down, and then her wide eyed look late at night when she rejects the camera flash and all we get is her flinching! Although lately she's been flashing us lots of smiles! I know the purpose behind her smiles are probably not related to us, but I firmly believe that if we consider her scowls and frowns to be genuine, then her smiles are at least some sign of contentment!
Its been only a few shorts weeks, but I want to write a book regarding post-pregnancy / life with baby... every day is so unique and granted nothing can prepare you fully but I never thought I would feel SO unprepared! I do have some great resources around me but I think moms just forget about what they went through or probably have bigger things on their mind now that make all the past stuff so trivial... I just realize more and more how "weak" I am - sure physically I think I can tolerate pain, but mentally / emotionally my strength is very limited... but God really provides me with my daily strength, even through my sleepy, incoherent prayers. And I do sense how He uses these experiences to mold me, particularly highlighting my selfishness! =)
Its quite interesting how my personal recovery parallels Sydnie's growing stages. Sydnie got her first case of diaper rash this week. Thankfully when my friend Susie was over she had given us a few packs of Butt Paste, which was immediately helpful. Well, we went on our first walk this week... From the warm weather, friction from walking, and the "diaper" that I'm still wearing, by the end of our walk I developed my own case of diaper rash. I was very tempted to use her Butt Paste but enjoyed a blast of dermoplast instead. Isn't that a pretty picture!
Looking forward to another week as we approach end of month one!

Two Weeks...

2008-02-23T18:03:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, Erin Grace Ha arrived this morning! Sounds like mom Helen had an awesome time during labor - or lack of labor! Sydnie and Erin were originally due about a day or two apart from each other so they both have an automatic friend! Hope to sneak a visit over to them this week...

Steve is now home with me and my mom's back with dad. My poor dad seemed miserable without her, which worries me a little on how we're going to coordinate things when I decide to go back to work. I don't even want to think about that right now but I feel time is going to fly by and I'll have to address it sooner than later.
Sydnie doesn't seem like a newborn anymore. She's finally fitting into some of her clothes and her neck is already so strong. Here's a rare moment with her eyes open. I feel bad using the flash on her so we don't have many pics with her alert.
Steve and I were both told by our parents that we were such great babies that our expectations for Sydnie are really high! So after one night of her crying Steve was convinced it was colic. But it turned out she was just probably hungry and cold and we just didn't know any better =) She's really been so good... now I wonder what do we do when she's more awake than asleep?!

One Week

2008-02-17T12:12:00.000-08:00

Appa looks tore up here while Sydnie enjoys her REM

Time is so relative - one week is nothing to us as we go about work and every day life, but on the other hand it is amazing that Sydnie has been with us already for a full week! We don't have much to complain about but I have to admit it is overwhelming knowing we are responsible for this little thing and our lives are really forever different! She's allowing her mom and dad to sleep pretty well though and waking up just once a night for a feeding. She's probably fussiest around 11 pm, which is when she was most active inside, but other than that already an obedient child! =)

SYDNIE'S FIRST GUESTS ~
Meeting Lisa...
Lisa brought us pears... pear versus Sydnie's head!

With Susie and Lauryn unni

Her cousins, EJ and Brandon oppa

Halmuni made Sydnie her first GIRL outfit!

Meeting Doc...

2008-02-13T16:44:00.001-08:00

Today was Sydnie's first visit to her pediatrician. Dad will probably create a personal workout regiment for her as she has already gained an ounce! =) We also learned her measurements were incorrect from the hospital and her new length comes in at 19.5 inches versus 18 inches! She did escape the hospital without showing much signs of jaundice but it looks like it may be lurking in her system so she did get some bloodwork done and we're waiting for the results now. But overall she is doing what she is supposed to and mom and dad rewarded themselves with dum dums on behalf of Sydnie as they left the office ~

Sydnie is also no longer constipated and pooing great! Mom on the other hand is still super swollen but hopefully won't feel like a temperpedic mattress for too much longer... You'd think being just at home would result in cabin fever by now, but so far the hours fly by and we're already at day 5!

The 411

2008-02-12T09:20:00.000-08:00

Name: Sydnie Elisabeth Park
DOB: Friday, February 8, 2008
Time: 8:59 pm
Length: 18 inches
Head Circumference: 33 cm <-- worried about this one, but it seems normal... whew!

I am happy to share the birthing story with anyone who is interested, but for now just glad that is a memory and no longer reality! Steve was fascinated by the whole thing and ended up taping it, which I know sounds gross. But he said he felt like he was in science class! My take is its comparable to a wedding. For one thing, the moment itself just flew by - barely remember Steve cutting the chord, etc... and you prepare and plan and digest so much on the pregnancy and delivery but no one really tells you much about what to expect after its over! That is a whole new thing on its own, and not just talking about a crying baby...

But she is here and although it still feels very unreal, we just love to stare at her and be in amazement. Yesterday she hadn't pooed all day so Steve got a q-tip with vaseline and put it up her butt and she immediately started to go. It was only day three but she's already inherited mom's constipation! But you could tell how relieved she was to release and we were both so proud of that moment! haha! I'll enjoy these early poos before they start to get messy and stinky!

Sydnie and I will be under house arrest for the next few weeks so if you are in the area (and not carrying any communicable diseases =), please come and meet your new friend!

go to my sister's site for even more boasting! http://www.xanga.com/mandukim

Sydnie Elisabeth Park

2008-02-12T07:34:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Park family

With doc White... if anyone is looking for an OB, she is wonderful!

Just seconds after...

First burping...

Her pretty nails/otherwise claws that scratched up her face

Meeting her first "boy"... Ethan =)

Here We Are... THREE PARKS!

Almost Three ~

2008-02-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

I am back at Hoag, only this time it looks like when we're done, we'll be leaving with Park number three.
I had a doctor's appointment this morning and my water broke as I was leaving the office. What timing! I had to sneak in some food first so I grabbed a bagel and coffee cake at Starbucks with a towel between my legs to catch all my drippage. Not pretty but I didn't want to go in on an empty stomach. Steve met me at the hospital and we've been here now for a few hours. So far contractions are about a minute apart and the smile on my face is almost gone... =I Watched some Die Hard and got a little sleepy so dozed off for a little bit. They have me on a little pitocin but said she would administer just a very little as it seems my body was naturally progressing pretty quickly. I'm hoping they'll be checking on me soon to see if I've dilated any further.
So that is the latest play by play. Steve was eating a tuna melt and fries earlier which was very tempting. Okay contraction incoming - gotta go!

Pee Crazy

2008-02-08T08:30:00.000-08:00

Each weekend I make it to, we celebrate with a restaurant meal so this weekend will be a visit to Luciana's in Dana Point. yay! Work ladies took me there before I started leave and I had the best pasta, which I've been craving ever since!
Baby is still incubating, although this week wasn't without some action. Tuesday night we were in L&D but only for a few hours before they rejected us and sent us home. Had a feeling that would happen but considering my usual skeptical-ness didn't want to chance it just because I didn't think it wasn't anything. I told Steve next time though I refuse to even entertain calling the doctor until my knuckles are white from pain management. Had hopes they would just keep us and let it progress but it seems I'm still too far away from due date to try to encourage anything.
Big news is Sarah & Sean welcomed Baby Matthew Khang on Monday! Sarah's labor was long and difficult but what a good looking kid they ended with! I've been without my pregnant walking buddy this week but hope to get some pictures up when they get home tomorrow.
gotta go pee... again...

Overdue...

2008-02-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

Another week has passed and still no kid... Technically I'm not due for a few more weeks and considering how many times my due date has changed, I'm no longer certain when I'm exactly due! But due to all the earlier pre-term labor excitement and thinking baby would be here by now, I actually feel overdue!
Well the week passed pretty uneventfully. I'm sleeping great, so no complaints there. I've been craving dim sum for the past few weeks and Steve promised if I lasted until this weekend we'd go so I'm very much looking forward to tomorrow. Anything that involves food sharing I like going with just Steve so I don't have to look at the last piece and feel bad about being greedy! haha!
I'm still contracting regularly but I've gotten so used to it, can't remember what it feels like not to. Doc says we're all doing well though and I'm hanging on at 2 cm dilated and 90% effaced. I finally understand what that means.
Well, that's my update for the week. Looking forward to the Super Bowl. Being a stay-home mom can be very dangerous... I don't know how many times I've gone somewhere shopping related just to pass time or visit online shopping sites!...

Jeans

2008-01-25T23:36:00.001-08:00

I had no idea how crazy expensive designer maternity jeans were... I usually depend on sister's closet for all my stylish stuff! ha!

Well a friend gave me info on this lady who converts existing jeans into maternity jeans for $15! So if you are or may be expecting (or just want elastic waisted jeans), you can send in jeans that you know you like and fit you well but wouldn't mind letting go of for this purpose. Let's see if sister will allow me to test it on any of her jeans for next baby =)

http://www.belly-jeans.com

maternity leave

2008-01-24T14:34:00.000-08:00

Today marked the final day of work as maternity leave officially begins tomorrow... It was definitely strange wrapping up in the office and made me wonder how much stranger it would be if I was quiting all together!!! It still hasn't registered that I won't be returing to the office for three months. Who knows if this new sense of freedom will ever register or I'll be going into labor by week's end and starting "work" all over again! Well, definitely no idea what to expect or how to predict... but I guess that is God's great introduction to parenthood...

Enjoyed last day with a fun shower from the St. Regis Ladies

Preggo water in the office - Sheri (in picture)with March baby and Erika soon after us in July...

Eileen & Me... and Naan!

push gift

2008-01-24T14:32:00.000-08:00

We celebrated my 30th this past weekend and Yub surprised me with yet another present. I guess it worked out where we could celebrate both baby and my 30th in one year so he only has to worry about accruing a balance on his credit card all at one time! haha

Its of course special to get such a great gift and we both agreed we're fortunate to be able to celebrate like this too. Its kinda nice to enjoy some of these treats now considering we forgoed many of them when we first got engaged. Granted its not like we started off like my parents in a little trailer as Korean-trash in the middle of Alabama, but I do like to boast about the husband and how he has and continues to take care of US these past years. Hopefully he can manage one more!... otherwise, we have a few items we can now pawn! =)