Battle Royale

With my summer work schedule still keeping me busy Steve has been taking care of most feedings and putting Sydnie down for the night. Being home with Sydnie these past two days I found myself giving into her demands a lot more easily and I realized that some of it may stem from my guilt of not being around as much. So yesterday, every time she was whiny I would pick her up versus when I would usually just let her be. I know it wasn't just guilt... I also missed holding her, but I also started to see a brattiness developing in Sydnie she didn't have before with me. As the day continued and each time I complied with her 'pick me ups' I started thinking - Sydnie's sinful nature is emerging and she is learning the trick of manipulation! I bet she's already thinking I am putty in her hands! So today I tried to establish who was boss which led to a few early morning battles. I know it sounds ridiculous but when Sydnie started randomly crying (I think cuz I disappeared to brush my teeth) I came back and stood over her telling her to 뚝 (shush) as if I was expecting her to understand. Well my dominance must have telepathically communicated and she actually calmed down. Then minutes later while enjoying her cereal she started playing with the buckle in her chair which I took away and she started freaking out. I was thinking about leaving her to cry and even filming her but that would be bad evidence against me so I wiped her up and let her cry it out on the carpet. She has Steve's super enhanced sweat glands so within seconds her whole body was hot and this time when I saw the runny nose and monster tears I did end up picking her up... but amazingly, she was model child the rest of the day.

I know disciplining children is a lot easier said than done but I hope we can raise Sydnie to be respectful and thoughtful to certain things that are wrong and not doing what is just convenient for that moment. Hopefully our own shortcomings will not be revealed in anger or frustration but we will really strive to be Godly parents too... Otherwise, we may just be featured on Super Nanny 2012!

~ looking like a little man! ~

Girls in White Dresses

Considering I get to participte in someone's wedding on a weekly basis I also get to see some of the cutest flower girls and ring boys. One of my favorites was an evening cermeony where we had candles lining the entire length of the aisle. As the little flower girl began her walk it suddenly occurs to her that there are candles all around her and candles to her are meant to be blown out! So she pauses at each one to blow them out before proceeding down to the next. Granted the bride's dramatic entry is a bit spoiled but it was absolutely the most adorable thing! Well, I personally never had the opportunity to be a flower girl. I was never considered a cute kid but the more mature acting older one. So when my sister was asked to be the flower girl for a church deacon's wedding I was so envious watching her getting her hair curled, getting to wear a pretty white dress and even wearing lipstick! Lucky! Me on the other hand tried to impress in the nicest dress I had but no way could compete with my sister who also got a special flower girl's basket with petals to toss. So yeah, I guess even after all these years I still have a complex about it! =) Well one thing as a mom you can't really do for your child is give them a chance to be a flower girl or ring boy. I mean, you can't force your child upon someone getting married and also age, time, and other circumstances will dictate if they qualify or not. I guess looks being one of them! haha. So Sydnie's best chance at the moment is her eemoh. If we can just time it right, we can get my sister to marry in about a year and half so Sydnie will be old enough to walk down the aisle on her own but yet have the toddler bobble that will give her more of the "awww" factor. I guess I've thought about this a little too much! Poor Sydnie, all this cuz mom never got to experience her own shining moment! Well should for whatever reasons my sister does not come through, then I have a daughter for rent as a flower girl! haha... Okay, that does not sound right. Gosh, hopefully this obsession doesn't consume me where I eventually start to enter her in little girl pageants! Well, considering she has dad's butt and mom's thighs she probably wouldn't make it out of the swimsuit round. haha Anyway, I know all you moms out there also secretly hoping some newly engaged couple will approach you to showcase your child at their wedding! Too bad in my sister's case, she has no choice! =)

Going for the Gold

For a brief moment I had an opportunity to leave for Beijing this week and join a food & beverage team at the Olympics. Although the opportunity didn't see itself through for that short period of time, what a crazy circus of thoughts that circled my mind! Granted work was one thing, especially because this weekend was one of my most busiest weekends at work and I think my clients would have literally hunted me down amongst the billions of other Asians and dragged me back! But of course the main thing was the thought of leaving Sydnie and her dad... Steve and I had a long distance relationship prior to getting married but ever since then I've never been away from him for more than a day. And while we quickly established that Steve would take time off from work so I could leave I was wondering if there would be any way for him and Sydnie to get their visas and try joining me... I couldn't imagine passing up this opportunity but the thought of being away from Sydnie and dad for nearly half a month was something I would need to come to terms with quickly. It probably would not have even hit me until much later considering how quickly things needed to be organized. And what about breastfeeding - I assume I would need to try to figure out how to take my pump with me and convince the Chinese that it was not a bomb, and also how to transport whatever amount I would be able to pump back home with me. Well, anyway, it didn't work out and I'll look forward to hopefully going another time but in no way do I feel I have lost. How could I when I have my darling daughter giving me the most winningest smiles and grins! And I would miss my other baby a little too much too! =) But I will be prepared for Vancouver - look out Apollo Anton Ono!

Sydnie Freestyle Bungee Jumping

WWED: What Would Eve Do?

I would like to try developing Sydnie's palate at an early age. One of my coordinators think kids meal options should not consist of chicken fingers and mac n cheese but be a child size portion of the filet and lobster an adult would get. And Luanna gave me a baby food cookbook where the chef reflects on growing up in Europe and how there is no such thing as bland and tasteless rice cereal, but instead they introduce them to more flavorful but natural foods from the beginning. The way I see it way back in the days of Adam & Eve, Eve really did not have other moms to get advice from! (buh rum bum, chee) haha... okay so she had God! Who knows how different kids were back then, but I'm sure she had no one telling her to give Cain and Abel rice cereal starting six months and avoid peanuts and honey until age one because of allergies and infant botulism! It is somewhat irritating to me all the suggestions/rules you have to be mindful of and it just makes you more paranoid as a parent. Well as I assume Eve relied on her natural motherly instincts, after my endless internet browsing and other mom inquisitions, I find that instict to be actually the most reliable. Not that I plan on jeapordizing Sydnie's health just to defy all the doctor's notes in my effort to prove them wrong, but I do want to be able to make a "family" meal in the near future. And apparently it was possible for that one chef so why not us?! So for now at each meal Sydnie gets a balanced plate of starches, vegetables, and fruit for dessert. Almost like a buddhist's bibimbap! While the kids sized steak & lobster is still a little ways off, the next time Sydnie eyes my Red Mango, I won't be so hesitant to give her a little small taste and anticipate her body will experience the same cleansing affects like I do! By the way, there are too many things in life where I think to myself "why didn't I think of that" and this happens to be one of those times. Introducing a trendy baby food store: Pomme Bebe It looks like the pinkberry of baby foods and a lot of is just packaging and smart marketing... and also being in the OC. But so many of these food ideas can be easily duplicated at home too! I just made Sydnie a fruit smoothie with some boobmilk and she loved it!

This isn't the most entertaining video, its actually almost eery, but this is the Sydnie-show on her monitor and if you listen carefully she is mumbling "appa"

Dollars for Sydnie

Okay, I know I said I would be weaning Sydnie officially next week so in preparation I wanted to stock up on formula. Well with making her cereal and a few meals on formula currently, a pretty big can that I expected to last for a while is almost gone after just two weeks! So how much quicker will I be emptying these cans when she is exclusively on formula and her appetite gets bigger?!?! I mean, if a can of formula was just a few dollars that is one thing, but the pack of six I ordered is over $150.00! My goodness!!! Am I being cheap or are the rest of you gasping in astonishment too?! So I am rethinking the idea of weaning her. I know it is quite sad that I've come to second guess my decision not based on her health or well being but my finances! =) At least whatever few ounces I can manage would alleviate one or two feedings a day, right?
Well the formula is one thing, round two involves her baby food. I initially made her some carrots which she didn't seem to like so I decided to buy a jar to check out the consistency and taste. Oh my gosh - a tiny tiny jar was 89 cents! I tell you, this jar is smaller than a single yoplait yogurt! I can make the same amount with a 10 cent carrot! Technically I am paying for the jar, the packaging / label and pureed food that has been probably sitting on that shelf for months! I just can't get myself to pay that much money for the sake of convenience so I will do my best to be making her food from home.
And of course there are the diapers. Thanks to our cloth diapers we technically go through about only two disposable diapers a day. Steve wants me to calculate though our electric bill compared to purchasing regular diapers to see if it really is saving us. I guess he feels we use the washer / dryer too much, but I personally think even without those diapers we'd still be washing pretty frequently.
Now when it comes to things like future viola lessons or softball skills, I guess I won't be able to personally intervene with a cheaper alternative... hmm... maybe I'll just have her listen to Vivaldi and watch ESPN all the time and hope for some sort of osmosis! Time to start recycling cans and bottles to save for her wedding fund!!
Sydnie met Ryan - finally someone smaller than her! Hope Erika got a better picture of the two!
Not Sydnie's finest picture but that is why we call her our lil' gorilla!

Pain is my Middle Name

I have been known to promote the masochistic side of me and take pride in tolerating pain. One time as a kid, like many other 3rd grade girls I loved playing on the bars. I loved flipping, forward, backward, cherry drop, death drop... yeah... the good ol' days. Anyway, one day while waiting for mom to finish her conversation with a friend I ran to the bars at the park wanting to practice my flips. Well the bars I found were parallel bars and stupid me never considered what would happen if I flipped on them. As I went forward full force my forehead slammed into the opposite bar and I passed out. When I came to my mom was still talking with her friend so I walked over to them and when she saw me she freaked out! Well the result was a very lumpy forehead all of 3rd grade - with pics to prove it. But masochistic me (or maybe just really stupid me) the next day during recess was right back on the bars!
So anyway, for the past few months I have had frequent spotting. The doc's office first thought it was my lining still shedding and then possibly my period starting again but with it continuing without any reason I was getting concerned. So when I finally went to see the doctor last week she discovered something that was possibly the cause of the bleeding. Well what might have been a routine procedure felt so painful! I walked out of the office wanting a wheelchair and feeling like I just went through labor all over again. So with all this said, I guess my point is after giving birth, I think I have turned into a wimp! he he
No in all seriousness, I was a little nervous about what the doc would find. The internet has too much information and as I am married to a regular self diagnoser, reading all the possibilities of what the cause of my bleeding could possibly be was not sitting well with me. We're still waiting for the culture results to come back from the lab but doc white feels confident I am cured now. It just goes to remind me again how important health is.
Well we have our first real family trip scheduled. San Francisco was just a practice run in preparation for our December trip to Hawaii. Sydnie will be 10 months by then! Amazing... She's already babbling and sounds like she'll be saying "appa" soon!

Having fun with Sydnie...


Hee hee... our little gorilla exercising her arms...


Maybe I'm a mean mom but I get a kick out of her crying... she's trying to tell me something though...

Eight Eight O Eight

Friday, 08/08/08 Sydnie is six months old. The day will also sadly end my career as Sydnie's 맘마(food)... Well on the positive, it'll mean good bye to pumping at work, clogged ducts, and all the various aches and pains I've associated with breastfeeding these past few months. But for someone that never even wanted to breastfeed in the first place in fear of super saggage and really trivial superficial stuff, I am really going to miss the bonding moments I've been able to share with Sydnie. I actually would love to continue but as I even to this day struggle with my milk supply and duct problems, I consulted with Steve last week and consented that I have been stubborn long enough and it is finally time to throw in the towel. Regardless of my difficulties though I am so thankful to see our healthy daughter with her chubalicious thighs and arms that remind me of pat & oscar breadsticks (fat and doughy!) And although she already has battled a few colds in her short life, I credit breastmilk for her speedy recoveries.
So the ultimate decision was made when Steve being the ever active dad surprised us with a baby scale. I guess one of those luxuries I never planned on purchasing, but I was excited to use it and see how much Sydnie was eating. I was also hoping it would ease my mind considering how horrible my production was with pumping. So we started with the right side and were really excited to see she consumed about 3 1/2 ounces. Then left side... no change on scale. Tried again... nothing. Maybe the scale isn't working, let's put a towel on her to see if it moves... okay it does ~ so does that mean she got nothing from the left?!?! I started to feel depressed. We tried it again the next feeding and same result. So it seemed my left boob was truly dead and it wasn't really the pump's fault nothing was coming out.
So I hope to eek it out for another few weeks - hang in there righty! I had an epiphane today... its funny how we started this cycle with supplementing with formula and as we come to closing the cycle we're needing to do the same thing!
In my finite thinking I am truly amazed at God's creativity in not only allowing us to be a source of food for our children (as difficult as it may sometimes be) but also provide comfort and strengthen our bond with them! Now I just need to prepare for possible torture that weekend - I hope it is not too painful! Any tips?!

Sydnie went swimming for the first time this week!