Accidents

It wasn't so much of a problem the first time, but I am having serious bladder control issues with this one. If I don't empty out my bladder every hour I better hope I don't need to sneeze while walking. I should really start those pelvic exercises but when you gotta pee... you gotta pee!

In My Face...

So I must share about my "God-moment" the weekend of Sydnie's dohl. All week it predicted rain for the week although up until Thursday morning it was beautiful and 80 degrees. But sure enough starting Friday the weather did a 180 switch and Saturday looked to be no exception. Even as went to the St. Regis in the morning to pick up our cake and our decor friends from White Lilac were setting up, the rain was consistently... there! Despite all the anxiety and the back and forth all week with tenting options and the promise that I would just trust and be thankful for whatever weather God provided that day, it took one last final prayer in the morning at 6:00 am to completely relinquish everything and just be thankful for our wonderful day of celebration.
Now in hindsight, I realize this was probably the only way God could make the same impact that He did but literally half hour before the first guests were scheduled to arrive the rain disappeared... and as our final guest was departing it started right up again. In between, it was absolutely perfect and beautiful! Such good luck, right? No, it was ALL God! I kept telling myself that morning, I am doubting and not trusting in the one that can just block out that single cloud with His finger for us if he wanted to as He provided perfect shade for the Israelites crossing the desert. So anyway - I needed that blatant reminder that everything is so beyond my control and I just need to trust in His providence. And even if that wasn't what He planned, I still would have been okay as it was a wonderful day for the family!
Now, I just need to perfect how to be a good hostess! I realize how much I dread this task. I am much more the behind the scenes, hide in the kitchen or behind my clipboard type of person, or sit in my corner with my group of acquaintances... but keeping a smile constantly pasted on my face, taking pictures, saying "thank you for coming" and promising to come back to them but never quite making it back to stretch out the conversation... yeah, not my forte. Well, it was still all wonderful and our Sydnie is now a one year old! Wow!!!
I don't have my pics from the dohl yet, so here are some pics from Lisa's baby shower in October:

Happy Birthday Sydnie!

Sydnie is one today!
Precisely in 29 minutes...
Happy Birthday our little daughter. Can't believe you weren't even in this world a year ago and now you're a little thriving person! Umma Appa love you so so much!

Yes, It's True...

We ended 2008 on a difficult note with both Sydnie and I sick ever since getting back from Hawaii. It started with a torturous stomach virus. Not sure where she picked it up but it is really quite sad to see a baby throw up. Thankfully she didn't vomit frequently but her diarrhea was non-stop for over a week... poor thing. Her butt area must have been so sore. I thought mom's were immune to their kid's being sick but I now know better. If anything I think God purposely had me experience each ailment so I can vocalize her pains for her! But I woke up at 4:00 am to run to the bathroom and didn't stop for the next 36 hours. My sister ended up with it from one of us and then my mom who says she is inpenetrable from any illness I think got it the worst. My dad too. Steve for whatever reasons was fine. So after that round, we both came down with bad colds and just closing out that bottle literally 30 days later.
So now we are nearly complete with the first month of the new year, we are quickly approaching Sydnie's first birthday! Gosh, has a year gone by that fast?! Looking back at all my insecurities and all the unknowns in my rookie months as a new mom I half want to laugh at myself because 11 months later I'm an expert veteran mom, right?! haha Well, life with Sydnie definitely makes more sense now and she is even more amazing than ever... and yes, in four months, Sydnie takes on a new role of being Big Sister! So here we go again and I'm sure my stories of being a mom of two will be a whole 'nother set of amusing stories! So here's to 2009 and more updates on the life and times of the Park family!

To Party or Not To Party...

So what started as a super enthusiastic beginning to Sydnie's first birthday planning quickly fizzled and I now find myself in the middle of December. I have to admit the pressures of the depressing economy have led me to re-think the need and value of having such an elaborate birthday party. After all, the satisfacation of this party would technically be all mine, right? Well, after much deliberation and with Steve basically leaving it up to me, I've decided to go through with it! (at least I say that today) Truly, I struggle with this decision. I mean, its a good chunk of money we could apply towards something potentially more necessary. But at this point with the decision made to move forward I guess I'll proceed as planned and try to be wise and careful with each dollar. So first thing I need to work on is eliminating about 80 people off the guest list. Sadly that will probably mean cutting off a lot of my own personal friends but then again, not sure how much fun they'll have at a one year old's birthday party. For the few that know, I am an anti-eviter, but if this gets me an extra layer of cake, I guess sayonara to the customized invitations. Now do I really need entertainment for the kids or can I just start a never ending game of freeze tag?! Well here are some highlight photos from our Oahu trip earlier this month. Sydnie did great although I think we'll be heading to Maui next time. I guess the Waikiki beach hotels are older and rely on the beach for recreation so the pools were small and dinky. They wouldn't even allow us to use a floatie as it would take up too much space. We did learn on this trip that Sydnie seems to have Steve's skin tone as after a day in the sun she was already a shade darker than me!

Sydnie has no choice being appa's little throw toy!

Long Overdue

Wow - I didn't mean to take this long of a break but it seems the last time I posted an entry was over a month ago! My main excuse being Steve sold his camera (yes, again) and we are still waiting for the next one to arrive. Rumour has it this one should be arriving sometime next week but without Steve's quality pictures I've been neglecting my posts as well. Well I do have some belated Halloween pics I'll at least share for now.
So as planned I was home for the month of October, which really flew by. I honestly never gave stay at home moms enough credit but from personal experience I can say that dealing with work pressures is by far so much easier than being home with a baby. I had people coming up asking if I enjoyed my break, which sounded like a joke because the last thing I'd call my October is a "break". From the moment she woke up till Steve got home, I answered only to her. I was lucky to get an email break! haha. I mentioned this to Steve the other day but how is it that babies have endless energy and how come we are so tired compared to them? I mean if you think about it they don't get that much more sleep and lets say I did take advantage of napping when she did, I bet I'd still be just as tired. I just think it is so funny how literally as soon as she opens her eyes she's alert and bouncing as if she's washed her face and feels refreshed and nothing like us wanting to hit the snooze button 10 times! Maybe something to learn from this - to approach life with more of a child-like attitude: excited for life and keep things simple?! Well, despite admitting it wasn't me just getting my nails done all the time, when my mom was able to come back, going back to work this time was actually harder. I'd say when she was younger the bonding was less as she was whatevers if I left the room. But now she shows her independece in personality while showing dependence in needing me, recognizing my importance to her, etc... so while it may mean I'm Sydnie's puppet for life, I do love being with her and making both of us happy!
As for Sydnie, she's nearing 10 months and full of tricks and entertainment! I have to say I am insanely in love with her and think she is so beyond cute! I never thought I would get this lovestruck! haha! Although I have to say I've been looking at her old pictures recently when she was about 4 - 5 months old... and she was quite ugly then! haha... okay it was the scary patchy hair!
Well, lots to update from my hiatus... I'll do my best to update more frequently in the next upcoming weeks! Happy Thanksgiving!

Cocktail Time

What was scheduled to come to an end at month six was delayed until just this week... and now Sydnie is officially a formula baby - sayonara to boobmilk. Originally I continued to persist due to my initial shock when I found out how expensive formula was going to be (yes its true that decision had nothing to do with her health!) but as the days passed my milk supply became lower and lower. Technically I guess that is the best way to wean your child. I know the high producing moms will have to still go through a week of engorged pain but for me I think I literally extracted the absolute last drop out of me. So when I could finally could get nothing more out and the reality sinked in that this was really it, I was quite sad. More so because it wasn't where I had pre-determined the "last" day but my body determined that for me without consulting! It really felt like I had experienced a sudden loss in my life!
Well I am quite amazed though that for someone who wanted to breastfeed for only three months and after all the nasty early days I struggled through we made it this far. Pat on the back for me =) haha
As we also offically mark Sydnie's eighth month I'm also on my own time table to get back into my old clothes again! I'm not sure how my metabolism will change without breastfeeding but I can tell you it sure didn't do me wonders like it does some moms! When Sydnie first came I had noted if it took me nine months to get this way, I should give myself nine months to get back - well then that gives me ONE MORE MONTH!!! I guess technically its 9 1/2 months so I have a little more time. But anyway, I am on a major mission now. Two pounds a week! That isn't too ambitious right?!?! I do feel it is important for me to start making this effort. I don't feel good heavier and every picture I see of myself my face looks like a full moon or pancake! And my knees still hurt going up and down stairs! And I now have cellulite on my calves!!!