At seven weeks, Sydnie has started her first job! Mom seems to have a problem with freqent clogged ducts and it seems the only relief is via Sydnie. She of course is rewarded with milk money! Seriously though, I lose more sleep over these clogs and at its worst, it is just as bad as labor pain! We also had our six-week doc visit and she came in measuring 70th percentile for her weight and height. Steve is most proud that her head measures in the 20th percentile but who knows if that is an indication of the end size... hopefully Steve's fears of giant head child won't come true! =) She also got her first five shots. That nurse was so speedy... she might as well have just grabbed all five in one hand and stabbed at the same time! Sydnie tolerated the pain very well though and seemed more stunned than bothered by the experience.
Her poos are still very infrequent, but when she goes it can probably drown a little town! She hasn't gone for six days now so getting very nervous! Another milestone is her hands are no longer fisted and she has them more unfurled. I already miss her just newborn stage

10 pounds

Update: Easter Sunday! We almost didn't make it to church because I was suffering from an awful clogged duct and Sydnie decided to throw a tantrum and woke up at 4 am refusing to go back to sleep - so when I came back upstairs after my failed attempts of unclogging, I found Steve giving Sydnie a time out! The day improved for all of us and Sydnie enjoyed her first dress from Auntie Eileen!

Sydnie and I went to see the lactation consultant today and she's now a whopping 10 pounds 1 ounce! But it seems we have a case of thrush, which explains the pain I still feel with feeding. So we have to use the same stuff Steve uses for his athlete's feet on the boob and her mouth!
Starting last week Sydnie stopped pooing everyday, which we read was normal around five weeks. She went about two days without pooing and when she finally went it was at least three inches deep! No Joke! and it was everywhere! She skipped yesterday and then went again today. Not sure of the depth this time because I had just finished wiping her when she shot out another big dose right in my hand! Its all so wonderful... =)

Her first documented smile... she's been super smiley.

She failed her first hearing test so was retested this week... she can now hear!

Bonding

Each day passes by so quickly and yet because of the cyclical nature of my days, I don't feel like I get much done or make progress. I just realize April will be here before I know it and I'll have to start thinking about returning to work... the question is will I mentally still be where I was in January or feeling a little more ready to move forward?!

Today was Sydnie's first time at church, although with her feeding time we didn't get to church until the message was over! haha. Each day's schedule is pretty consistent and then comes the weekend... hopefully with time we'll adapt and learn to balance everything or at least not burn ourselves out if we can't stick to "the schedule".
This week was the first time being on our own. Longer outings are one thing but running errands like bank deposits prove to be a little more difficult since I can't just leave her in the car! As for our first trip to the mall I was a little intimidated with setting up the carseat and stroller on my own, but figured I needed to start somewhere! I parked super far so no one would see me struggle and laugh but other than a few bruises, I showed signs of improvement by the end of the day! I also got to mingle as mom! Nordstrom has a mother's lounge and its pretty amazing as you see a continous parade of strollers going in and out and everyone whips out their hooter hiders to feed! I ended up meeting a woman that is Korean, lives around the corner from us, and her daughter is just three weeks older than Sydnie! While chatting she mentioned things really just clicked for her and she was struggling with the exact same issues I am now!... I guess there is quite a bit of support you gain from networking with other moms.
Getting back in shape is still a challenge and it seems the best thing is to take walks with Sydnie. Otherwise have to figure out who can stay with her, be sure I won't be engorged... a friend mentioned something I'll take to heart and that is it took us 9 months to get like this, so give it at least another 9 months to get back!
Well, Sydnie will get to wish Steve "happy birthday" for the first time this week!

Sydnie meets her great~halmuni!

Sydnie and Matthew finally meet... first bonding session

Hanging out with cousin Ryan

Happy One Month!

Few noteworthy one month milestones and markers:
1. Not certain of her actual weight but clothes that once barely hung on her tiny shoulders are fitting more comfortably. Nice big cheeks (like umma) and she's developing her third chin. Looks like we'll be transitioning to the next stage of diapers in a week or two.
2. Showing off strong neck muscles, which appa is pretty proud of!
3. Enjoys car rides, baths, and bjourn time with appa.
4. Still sleeping well at night. If she continues at this pace, looks like we can eliminate night time feeding soon and allow her to sleep all the way through!
5. Twists and contorts her tongues in weird shapes like appa

As for me, I start pilates Tuesday! Wonder how many pounds I can shed in one session?! With my mom here, food intake was pretty regulated, but with Steve, I think we've gone through a few boxes of twinkies and he's made at least 5 batches of rice krispy treats for us!
I still deal with constant questions but now that I realize how quickly time is passing, I try to enjoy each day with Sydnie more rather than obsessing over getting all the details right. Its almost heretical to say, but bonding wasn't immediate for me, although I do have a few friends that shared the same sentiments. Seeing her poo and pee well is most rewarding though and every day she takes more of my heart!
As of this week its been easier to chat with her, especially with her improved eye contact. And when I run out of things to say, we've been reading the bible! Ha! I've been so inconsistent in reading the bible for so long... even at infancy, Sydnie is being used by God to be a blessing!
Meeting Erin, her first dong-kap friend
The infamous picture of appa and baby sleeping together

Week 3 Faces

I still am not quite sure what Sydnie looks like. I know her sleeping image quite well... but then she has her sad old person burping face, tired eyes throughout the day, her evil eye stare down, and then her wide eyed look late at night when she rejects the camera flash and all we get is her flinching! Although lately she's been flashing us lots of smiles! I know the purpose behind her smiles are probably not related to us, but I firmly believe that if we consider her scowls and frowns to be genuine, then her smiles are at least some sign of contentment!
Its been only a few shorts weeks, but I want to write a book regarding post-pregnancy / life with baby... every day is so unique and granted nothing can prepare you fully but I never thought I would feel SO unprepared! I do have some great resources around me but I think moms just forget about what they went through or probably have bigger things on their mind now that make all the past stuff so trivial... I just realize more and more how "weak" I am - sure physically I think I can tolerate pain, but mentally / emotionally my strength is very limited... but God really provides me with my daily strength, even through my sleepy, incoherent prayers. And I do sense how He uses these experiences to mold me, particularly highlighting my selfishness! =)
Its quite interesting how my personal recovery parallels Sydnie's growing stages. Sydnie got her first case of diaper rash this week. Thankfully when my friend Susie was over she had given us a few packs of Butt Paste, which was immediately helpful. Well, we went on our first walk this week... From the warm weather, friction from walking, and the "diaper" that I'm still wearing, by the end of our walk I developed my own case of diaper rash. I was very tempted to use her Butt Paste but enjoyed a blast of dermoplast instead. Isn't that a pretty picture!
Looking forward to another week as we approach end of month one!