I still am not quite sure what Sydnie looks like. I know her sleeping image quite well... but then she has her sad old person burping face, tired eyes throughout the day, her evil eye stare down, and then her wide eyed look late at night when she rejects the camera flash and all we get is her flinching! Although lately she's been flashing us lots of smiles! I know the purpose behind her smiles are probably not related to us, but I firmly believe that if we consider her scowls and frowns to be genuine, then her smiles are at least some sign of contentment!
Its been only a few shorts weeks, but I want to write a book regarding post-pregnancy / life with baby... every day is so unique and granted nothing can prepare you fully but I never thought I would feel SO unprepared! I do have some great resources around me but I think moms just forget about what they went through or probably have bigger things on their mind now that make all the past stuff so trivial... I just realize more and more how "weak" I am - sure physically I think I can tolerate pain, but mentally / emotionally my strength is very limited... but God really provides me with my daily strength, even through my sleepy, incoherent prayers. And I do sense how He uses these experiences to mold me, particularly highlighting my selfishness! =)
Its quite interesting how my personal recovery parallels Sydnie's growing stages. Sydnie got her first case of diaper rash this week. Thankfully when my friend Susie was over she had given us a few packs of Butt Paste, which was immediately helpful. Well, we went on our first walk this week... From the warm weather, friction from walking, and the "diaper" that I'm still wearing, by the end of our walk I developed my own case of diaper rash. I was very tempted to use her Butt Paste but enjoyed a blast of dermoplast instead. Isn't that a pretty picture!
Looking forward to another week as we approach end of month one!