Going for the Gold

For a brief moment I had an opportunity to leave for Beijing this week and join a food & beverage team at the Olympics. Although the opportunity didn't see itself through for that short period of time, what a crazy circus of thoughts that circled my mind! Granted work was one thing, especially because this weekend was one of my most busiest weekends at work and I think my clients would have literally hunted me down amongst the billions of other Asians and dragged me back! But of course the main thing was the thought of leaving Sydnie and her dad... Steve and I had a long distance relationship prior to getting married but ever since then I've never been away from him for more than a day. And while we quickly established that Steve would take time off from work so I could leave I was wondering if there would be any way for him and Sydnie to get their visas and try joining me... I couldn't imagine passing up this opportunity but the thought of being away from Sydnie and dad for nearly half a month was something I would need to come to terms with quickly. It probably would not have even hit me until much later considering how quickly things needed to be organized. And what about breastfeeding - I assume I would need to try to figure out how to take my pump with me and convince the Chinese that it was not a bomb, and also how to transport whatever amount I would be able to pump back home with me. Well, anyway, it didn't work out and I'll look forward to hopefully going another time but in no way do I feel I have lost. How could I when I have my darling daughter giving me the most winningest smiles and grins! And I would miss my other baby a little too much too! =) But I will be prepared for Vancouver - look out Apollo Anton Ono!

Sydnie Freestyle Bungee Jumping

WWED: What Would Eve Do?

I would like to try developing Sydnie's palate at an early age. One of my coordinators think kids meal options should not consist of chicken fingers and mac n cheese but be a child size portion of the filet and lobster an adult would get. And Luanna gave me a baby food cookbook where the chef reflects on growing up in Europe and how there is no such thing as bland and tasteless rice cereal, but instead they introduce them to more flavorful but natural foods from the beginning. The way I see it way back in the days of Adam & Eve, Eve really did not have other moms to get advice from! (buh rum bum, chee) haha... okay so she had God! Who knows how different kids were back then, but I'm sure she had no one telling her to give Cain and Abel rice cereal starting six months and avoid peanuts and honey until age one because of allergies and infant botulism! It is somewhat irritating to me all the suggestions/rules you have to be mindful of and it just makes you more paranoid as a parent. Well as I assume Eve relied on her natural motherly instincts, after my endless internet browsing and other mom inquisitions, I find that instict to be actually the most reliable. Not that I plan on jeapordizing Sydnie's health just to defy all the doctor's notes in my effort to prove them wrong, but I do want to be able to make a "family" meal in the near future. And apparently it was possible for that one chef so why not us?! So for now at each meal Sydnie gets a balanced plate of starches, vegetables, and fruit for dessert. Almost like a buddhist's bibimbap! While the kids sized steak & lobster is still a little ways off, the next time Sydnie eyes my Red Mango, I won't be so hesitant to give her a little small taste and anticipate her body will experience the same cleansing affects like I do! By the way, there are too many things in life where I think to myself "why didn't I think of that" and this happens to be one of those times. Introducing a trendy baby food store: Pomme Bebe It looks like the pinkberry of baby foods and a lot of is just packaging and smart marketing... and also being in the OC. But so many of these food ideas can be easily duplicated at home too! I just made Sydnie a fruit smoothie with some boobmilk and she loved it!

This isn't the most entertaining video, its actually almost eery, but this is the Sydnie-show on her monitor and if you listen carefully she is mumbling "appa"

Dollars for Sydnie

Okay, I know I said I would be weaning Sydnie officially next week so in preparation I wanted to stock up on formula. Well with making her cereal and a few meals on formula currently, a pretty big can that I expected to last for a while is almost gone after just two weeks! So how much quicker will I be emptying these cans when she is exclusively on formula and her appetite gets bigger?!?! I mean, if a can of formula was just a few dollars that is one thing, but the pack of six I ordered is over $150.00! My goodness!!! Am I being cheap or are the rest of you gasping in astonishment too?! So I am rethinking the idea of weaning her. I know it is quite sad that I've come to second guess my decision not based on her health or well being but my finances! =) At least whatever few ounces I can manage would alleviate one or two feedings a day, right?
Well the formula is one thing, round two involves her baby food. I initially made her some carrots which she didn't seem to like so I decided to buy a jar to check out the consistency and taste. Oh my gosh - a tiny tiny jar was 89 cents! I tell you, this jar is smaller than a single yoplait yogurt! I can make the same amount with a 10 cent carrot! Technically I am paying for the jar, the packaging / label and pureed food that has been probably sitting on that shelf for months! I just can't get myself to pay that much money for the sake of convenience so I will do my best to be making her food from home.
And of course there are the diapers. Thanks to our cloth diapers we technically go through about only two disposable diapers a day. Steve wants me to calculate though our electric bill compared to purchasing regular diapers to see if it really is saving us. I guess he feels we use the washer / dryer too much, but I personally think even without those diapers we'd still be washing pretty frequently.
Now when it comes to things like future viola lessons or softball skills, I guess I won't be able to personally intervene with a cheaper alternative... hmm... maybe I'll just have her listen to Vivaldi and watch ESPN all the time and hope for some sort of osmosis! Time to start recycling cans and bottles to save for her wedding fund!!
Sydnie met Ryan - finally someone smaller than her! Hope Erika got a better picture of the two!
Not Sydnie's finest picture but that is why we call her our lil' gorilla!

Pain is my Middle Name

I have been known to promote the masochistic side of me and take pride in tolerating pain. One time as a kid, like many other 3rd grade girls I loved playing on the bars. I loved flipping, forward, backward, cherry drop, death drop... yeah... the good ol' days. Anyway, one day while waiting for mom to finish her conversation with a friend I ran to the bars at the park wanting to practice my flips. Well the bars I found were parallel bars and stupid me never considered what would happen if I flipped on them. As I went forward full force my forehead slammed into the opposite bar and I passed out. When I came to my mom was still talking with her friend so I walked over to them and when she saw me she freaked out! Well the result was a very lumpy forehead all of 3rd grade - with pics to prove it. But masochistic me (or maybe just really stupid me) the next day during recess was right back on the bars!
So anyway, for the past few months I have had frequent spotting. The doc's office first thought it was my lining still shedding and then possibly my period starting again but with it continuing without any reason I was getting concerned. So when I finally went to see the doctor last week she discovered something that was possibly the cause of the bleeding. Well what might have been a routine procedure felt so painful! I walked out of the office wanting a wheelchair and feeling like I just went through labor all over again. So with all this said, I guess my point is after giving birth, I think I have turned into a wimp! he he
No in all seriousness, I was a little nervous about what the doc would find. The internet has too much information and as I am married to a regular self diagnoser, reading all the possibilities of what the cause of my bleeding could possibly be was not sitting well with me. We're still waiting for the culture results to come back from the lab but doc white feels confident I am cured now. It just goes to remind me again how important health is.
Well we have our first real family trip scheduled. San Francisco was just a practice run in preparation for our December trip to Hawaii. Sydnie will be 10 months by then! Amazing... She's already babbling and sounds like she'll be saying "appa" soon!

Having fun with Sydnie...


Hee hee... our little gorilla exercising her arms...


Maybe I'm a mean mom but I get a kick out of her crying... she's trying to tell me something though...

Eight Eight O Eight

Friday, 08/08/08 Sydnie is six months old. The day will also sadly end my career as Sydnie's 맘마(food)... Well on the positive, it'll mean good bye to pumping at work, clogged ducts, and all the various aches and pains I've associated with breastfeeding these past few months. But for someone that never even wanted to breastfeed in the first place in fear of super saggage and really trivial superficial stuff, I am really going to miss the bonding moments I've been able to share with Sydnie. I actually would love to continue but as I even to this day struggle with my milk supply and duct problems, I consulted with Steve last week and consented that I have been stubborn long enough and it is finally time to throw in the towel. Regardless of my difficulties though I am so thankful to see our healthy daughter with her chubalicious thighs and arms that remind me of pat & oscar breadsticks (fat and doughy!) And although she already has battled a few colds in her short life, I credit breastmilk for her speedy recoveries.
So the ultimate decision was made when Steve being the ever active dad surprised us with a baby scale. I guess one of those luxuries I never planned on purchasing, but I was excited to use it and see how much Sydnie was eating. I was also hoping it would ease my mind considering how horrible my production was with pumping. So we started with the right side and were really excited to see she consumed about 3 1/2 ounces. Then left side... no change on scale. Tried again... nothing. Maybe the scale isn't working, let's put a towel on her to see if it moves... okay it does ~ so does that mean she got nothing from the left?!?! I started to feel depressed. We tried it again the next feeding and same result. So it seemed my left boob was truly dead and it wasn't really the pump's fault nothing was coming out.
So I hope to eek it out for another few weeks - hang in there righty! I had an epiphane today... its funny how we started this cycle with supplementing with formula and as we come to closing the cycle we're needing to do the same thing!
In my finite thinking I am truly amazed at God's creativity in not only allowing us to be a source of food for our children (as difficult as it may sometimes be) but also provide comfort and strengthen our bond with them! Now I just need to prepare for possible torture that weekend - I hope it is not too painful! Any tips?!

Sydnie went swimming for the first time this week!

Wow... five months already

Before Sydnie was born I used to say that I would be the first to admit if my child was not cute. Of course that wouldn't detract from how much I loved them as a parent but I never understood how some parents thought theire kids were the cutest things in the world when it was pretty obvious to me that they weren't! Well, now I am starting to understand. In my eyes everything Sydnie does is just so darn cute!

Some of my favorite things she does is when she smiles with the tip of her tongue sticking out and her eyes get super chinky from smiling so hard. Or when you can see her hair spikes sticking up out of her crib and her head is bobbing up and down like she's cruising on a wave and then she spots you and gives you a huge toothless grin. I even get such a kick out of the BIG tears that pool around her eyes when she's crying. But of course because of my former life of being a baby racist (now reformed) when people call Sydnie cute I can't help but wonder... "do they really mean that?!" I have a friend that uses the word "precious" to reference the babies where you just don't know how to describe. So if you ever call Sydnie precious, you may actually see me cringe a little. Of course now that I've made this public, I have to be careful and avoid calling another baby precious too! =)
Steve read somewhere that seeing a baby's smile stimulates a part of your brain that makes you feel like you are on a drug high. I guess that would make some sense considering when Sydnie wakes us up around six in the morning and we're not quite ready to join her, she'll give us this huge smile and that refreshes us!
Well I don't know when it happened, but Sydnie is now five months! Physically she's army scooting and flips and flops with no problem. She is also starting the first phase of sitting up on her own, which Steve can not wait for! She'd doing well with rice cereal and her poop is definitely starting to show the change in diet (joy).
It has been so busy at work for me, this week I barely got to see her a total of one hour which depresses me. This was a geniune fear for me returning to work but I thought being conscious of it would help me avoid it... but unfortunately it seems to be reality for me right now. In hindsight... if I could do this all over again and I know what I now know I would have tried to get pregnant during busy season at work and return when it was slower. For now I just come home and vent to Steve and am just thankful that in my absence it is my mom that spends the day with her.
Happy five months our 'precious' Sydnie! hah You are almost half a year old!

Sydnie in prison

Big Girl Sydnie

Life was already moving so fast as it was but watching Sydnie's growth and development makes the speed of time so much more tangible. I figure at my age five months doesn't change you much plus or minus a few pounds for all of us with mild eating disorders. But Steve and I were watching footage of her as a "baby" and its so amazing how much she has changed! And you know, I would have to agree that for the most part you do forget what the earlier days were like! I'm sure when my blogging days are over I'll print out all my entries and laugh at what a mess I was. I'm thankful Sydnie has made our "having a baby" experience for the most part, pretty enjoyable. At least pleasant enough where we're thinking about #2. I asked a friend who delivered a few days before us when they were planning for their next and she just gave me the most evil look. haha. A lot of people tell me they seem to bond more quickly and enjoy their second a little more just because you are not as timid and more experienced... I know bonding with Sydnie took some time for me but I'm glad as a family we started having fun pretty quickly. Sometimes I like Sydnie so much I kinda DON'T want another person to enter our clique but then again, that's how I felt about things when it was just Steve and me too.
Well work is getting busier. In some ways I like it but when 5 pm hits and I know I still have a pile of paperwork on my desk, I start to panic a little. Steve prefers I stay home but I like knowing I have an income too! My intentions were always to go back to work in time to help with the summer season but I do need to be mindful now that I'm not giving more to work than I give to my family, which I did frequently. It doesn't help that I still fit in one suit, so the only thing I change about my daily outfit is the top I wear underneath my jacket!
Well Sydnie's latest thing is she is rolling around and waking herself up during her naps. But it is so funny watching her butt in the air waving around! We've used a blanket over her when she's sleeping but I guess I'll have to remove that soon. We're going to change her over to the regular seat stroller from the bassinet this week too. She's going to feel all grown up!
Erika had her baby boy yesterday! Yay! Hope we can go see her and check out the new Kaiser facilities too! She was working out right up until so I'm sure she was super strong in the delivery room!

These pics are from Sydnie's photographer eemoh, Min Mi. Unfortunately after two attempts at the studio we had to do our session at home so we missed out on some of the cuter studio shots. Below is what Sydnie thinks of mom & dad who force her to take pictures!


We did get one decent one from the studio though!

If you need a family portrait or pics for your kids, Min Mi is wonderful. I do get my fair share of interaction with photographers so I think I can pretty knowledgeably say her work is excellent and the packages she offers are awesome! If I ever start my own business she is definitely on my preferred vendor list!