Eight Eight O Eight

Friday, 08/08/08 Sydnie is six months old. The day will also sadly end my career as Sydnie's 맘마(food)... Well on the positive, it'll mean good bye to pumping at work, clogged ducts, and all the various aches and pains I've associated with breastfeeding these past few months. But for someone that never even wanted to breastfeed in the first place in fear of super saggage and really trivial superficial stuff, I am really going to miss the bonding moments I've been able to share with Sydnie. I actually would love to continue but as I even to this day struggle with my milk supply and duct problems, I consulted with Steve last week and consented that I have been stubborn long enough and it is finally time to throw in the towel. Regardless of my difficulties though I am so thankful to see our healthy daughter with her chubalicious thighs and arms that remind me of pat & oscar breadsticks (fat and doughy!) And although she already has battled a few colds in her short life, I credit breastmilk for her speedy recoveries.
So the ultimate decision was made when Steve being the ever active dad surprised us with a baby scale. I guess one of those luxuries I never planned on purchasing, but I was excited to use it and see how much Sydnie was eating. I was also hoping it would ease my mind considering how horrible my production was with pumping. So we started with the right side and were really excited to see she consumed about 3 1/2 ounces. Then left side... no change on scale. Tried again... nothing. Maybe the scale isn't working, let's put a towel on her to see if it moves... okay it does ~ so does that mean she got nothing from the left?!?! I started to feel depressed. We tried it again the next feeding and same result. So it seemed my left boob was truly dead and it wasn't really the pump's fault nothing was coming out.
So I hope to eek it out for another few weeks - hang in there righty! I had an epiphane today... its funny how we started this cycle with supplementing with formula and as we come to closing the cycle we're needing to do the same thing!
In my finite thinking I am truly amazed at God's creativity in not only allowing us to be a source of food for our children (as difficult as it may sometimes be) but also provide comfort and strengthen our bond with them! Now I just need to prepare for possible torture that weekend - I hope it is not too painful! Any tips?!

Sydnie went swimming for the first time this week!

Wow... five months already

Before Sydnie was born I used to say that I would be the first to admit if my child was not cute. Of course that wouldn't detract from how much I loved them as a parent but I never understood how some parents thought theire kids were the cutest things in the world when it was pretty obvious to me that they weren't! Well, now I am starting to understand. In my eyes everything Sydnie does is just so darn cute!

Some of my favorite things she does is when she smiles with the tip of her tongue sticking out and her eyes get super chinky from smiling so hard. Or when you can see her hair spikes sticking up out of her crib and her head is bobbing up and down like she's cruising on a wave and then she spots you and gives you a huge toothless grin. I even get such a kick out of the BIG tears that pool around her eyes when she's crying. But of course because of my former life of being a baby racist (now reformed) when people call Sydnie cute I can't help but wonder... "do they really mean that?!" I have a friend that uses the word "precious" to reference the babies where you just don't know how to describe. So if you ever call Sydnie precious, you may actually see me cringe a little. Of course now that I've made this public, I have to be careful and avoid calling another baby precious too! =)
Steve read somewhere that seeing a baby's smile stimulates a part of your brain that makes you feel like you are on a drug high. I guess that would make some sense considering when Sydnie wakes us up around six in the morning and we're not quite ready to join her, she'll give us this huge smile and that refreshes us!
Well I don't know when it happened, but Sydnie is now five months! Physically she's army scooting and flips and flops with no problem. She is also starting the first phase of sitting up on her own, which Steve can not wait for! She'd doing well with rice cereal and her poop is definitely starting to show the change in diet (joy).
It has been so busy at work for me, this week I barely got to see her a total of one hour which depresses me. This was a geniune fear for me returning to work but I thought being conscious of it would help me avoid it... but unfortunately it seems to be reality for me right now. In hindsight... if I could do this all over again and I know what I now know I would have tried to get pregnant during busy season at work and return when it was slower. For now I just come home and vent to Steve and am just thankful that in my absence it is my mom that spends the day with her.
Happy five months our 'precious' Sydnie! hah You are almost half a year old!

Sydnie in prison

Big Girl Sydnie

Life was already moving so fast as it was but watching Sydnie's growth and development makes the speed of time so much more tangible. I figure at my age five months doesn't change you much plus or minus a few pounds for all of us with mild eating disorders. But Steve and I were watching footage of her as a "baby" and its so amazing how much she has changed! And you know, I would have to agree that for the most part you do forget what the earlier days were like! I'm sure when my blogging days are over I'll print out all my entries and laugh at what a mess I was. I'm thankful Sydnie has made our "having a baby" experience for the most part, pretty enjoyable. At least pleasant enough where we're thinking about #2. I asked a friend who delivered a few days before us when they were planning for their next and she just gave me the most evil look. haha. A lot of people tell me they seem to bond more quickly and enjoy their second a little more just because you are not as timid and more experienced... I know bonding with Sydnie took some time for me but I'm glad as a family we started having fun pretty quickly. Sometimes I like Sydnie so much I kinda DON'T want another person to enter our clique but then again, that's how I felt about things when it was just Steve and me too.
Well work is getting busier. In some ways I like it but when 5 pm hits and I know I still have a pile of paperwork on my desk, I start to panic a little. Steve prefers I stay home but I like knowing I have an income too! My intentions were always to go back to work in time to help with the summer season but I do need to be mindful now that I'm not giving more to work than I give to my family, which I did frequently. It doesn't help that I still fit in one suit, so the only thing I change about my daily outfit is the top I wear underneath my jacket!
Well Sydnie's latest thing is she is rolling around and waking herself up during her naps. But it is so funny watching her butt in the air waving around! We've used a blanket over her when she's sleeping but I guess I'll have to remove that soon. We're going to change her over to the regular seat stroller from the bassinet this week too. She's going to feel all grown up!
Erika had her baby boy yesterday! Yay! Hope we can go see her and check out the new Kaiser facilities too! She was working out right up until so I'm sure she was super strong in the delivery room!

These pics are from Sydnie's photographer eemoh, Min Mi. Unfortunately after two attempts at the studio we had to do our session at home so we missed out on some of the cuter studio shots. Below is what Sydnie thinks of mom & dad who force her to take pictures!


We did get one decent one from the studio though!

If you need a family portrait or pics for your kids, Min Mi is wonderful. I do get my fair share of interaction with photographers so I think I can pretty knowledgeably say her work is excellent and the packages she offers are awesome! If I ever start my own business she is definitely on my preferred vendor list!

Trial by Error

The family traveled for the first time together and went up to San Francisco just for a day. My friend Jen Jeon was getting married and after debating whether we should leave Sydnie with my parents, we decided it was a short enough trip to take her with us. So I guess to avoid their ears from hurting with the pressure change you should have the baby suck on a bottle, pacifier, etc... during take off - Take off was around Sydnie's feeding time so I decided to try to feed her - the only problem was from the time the plane started to move to the actual time we were on the runway, she was done eating! So while she wanted nothing more of the boob, I was frantically trying to shove it back in her mouth! I guess I got a little paranoid but beyond the pain she would feel I was more panicked at her crying and people giving us dirty looks! haha! Regardless, either way, it turned out fine and on the way back she ate and fell asleep the rest of the way. We tried our best to travel lightly but definitely not as easy. We saw so many families with strollers and car seats on top of strollers... goodness - no wonder they let you pre-board! Even from this short trip, I learned a few lessons about traveling with a baby.
1) If you have a large stroller, even if you have to borrow, take a light travel stroller instead. We have the bugaboo which we love but not great for travel purposes. You can buy the transport bag and check it in but that's not that cheap either. On the way back we just ended up getting two gate check in tickets, but it would have been easier had we just had a light stroller.
2) Wasn't sure how Sydnie would take to a foreign crib and we definitely were not going to be bringing her pack n play for a day trip. So we took the crib sheet saver she uses to give her something familiar. Not sure that was the reason, but she slept well! Love this crib sheet saver thing by the way. Its such a pain to wash and change out her sheets all the time, especially if she spits up, so this thing is great to lay flat near the head area and wash this only.
3) A light diaper bag is a must! Well this one is my fault because I took the petunia pickle bottom CAKE, which my sister got me. This one already weighs 10 pounds empty! Okay not that much but either way, lesson learned to take something light or your shoulders will DIE.
4) It does help to have the baby in a carrier, especially at the airport. I personally have never used a bjourn but my baby carrier was great for me since I could just roll it up in a ball once we got in the plane.
5) I've gotten a little dependent on my brest friend when feeding Sydnie, so finding a travel version was great! We also used it on the plane and once Sydnie fell asleep while eating she continued to sleep right on it and my arms were free. It did help having Steve blowing it up for me but it takes less than a minute.

So whoever says life is over after kids, I would have to disagree... it was very nice to share our first family trip together and hopefully there will be many more!

this one is appa's new favorite pic of sydnie!

unHappy Fathers Day

I spent this past weekend with a fever and Steve spent his first official dad day taking care of Sydnie the entire time. I think my body was shocked from sudden exposure to outside civilization now that I'm back at work.

We even had to cancel our dinner plans the next day for him, but as usual, he was a trooper and enjoyed his exclusive appa time with Sydnie.

me sick with sydnie on my lap







I can now understand why some women who are ill or in extreme pain after labor might not get to breastfeed. I've never had to care for anyone else when I've been sick so it was very hard to get up and feed Sydnie every few hours. I didn't want to hold her other than feeding time so she kept on giving me her upside down U face when I would look over at her.
But I think with a combination of going back to work and getting sick my boobs died. Sydnie was unhappy every time she was trying to eat and my mom would tell me she felt light, which made me even sadder. I started taking fenugreek a few days ago and I think it is helping. Its a lot to take - basically two capsules three times a day. But since yesterday Sydnie hasn't been fussy when eating. Some of the side effects I hear is you start to smell like maple syrup but I think I smell like curry! Of course that would happen to me!

We also finally started her on cloth diapers after going through our great supply of disposables that friends have given us. So far so good! I have ten total and it seems to be enough where we need to wash only every other day and we'll still use the disposables for sleeping. Bum Genius is the way to go! Sydnie's butt looks pretty gigantour though when she's sleeping on her tummy.

Sydnie got her first taste of rice cereal this week - with my dead boob, thought it might be a good time to start the cereal to give her some more substance. I guess its pretty obvious that we weren't too prepared with our plastic spoon from PF Changs! Thanks Susie for the cereal! Sydnie did great though and only showed frustration when we were too slow feeding. Girl's got attitude.

Four Month Checkup

We had Sydnie's four month checkup and shots.
She's in the 95th percentile for her height but pretty average with her weight in the 55th percentile and her head is in the 30th percentile. Steve was a little bummed that her head size grew a bit from her two month where she was in the 20th percentile! haha

Work is already starting to feel busy. It wasn't so horrible being apart from Sydnie but considering I don't get to keep her to myself anymore I definitely didn't feel like sharing her once I was home!
Well as a mom with four months experience, I wanted to share just a few of my personal 'can't live without' things that have kept me afloat these past months!:
* Chick Fil A: This place is truly a testimony to how God is faithful to those that are faithful to Him... even though they close every Sunday, Steve and I frequent this place Monday thru Saturday! They are good for any time of the day and their food is always fresh and healthy and light. My favorites are the chick-n-minis and breakfast burrito for breakfast and their chargrilled chicken & fruit salad is pretty yummy. I like the berry balsamic vinaigrette. They have a sweet but good lemon pie and also serve southern sweet tea! Go Chick Fil A!
* Tiny Love: Sydnie loves the symphony mobile for the crib and we also have a clip n go mobile we can attach to pretty much anything!
* Genesis Spa Pedicure: Nicky is the person to ask for there - she gives the BEST pedicures lasting nearly a month! And their prices are great at $19 for a mani / pedi combo.
* Lecithin: GNC sells a decent sized bottle and good price - these are great for frequent clogged ducts. It definitely has made a difference for me. Frequent clogged ducts can be an indication that the fat in your body is clogging up your ducts (meaning I am FAT!) - the lecithin seems to help suspend the fat for you.
I'll continue to share my favorites in future entries!

Sydnie was also baptized this past Sunday! She was very well behaved.


As easy as it will be to be consumed with grades, appearance, etc... I hope Steve and I can be most successful and most satisfied in raising our Sydnie as a woman of God and pleasing and loving Him!

So many fun and creative gifts for babies! The traditional but elegant diaper cake, a bouquet made out of onesies and baby socks, and a doll made out of cloth diapers, dressed in a onesie, tutu and ballet slippers!

Welcome Back

After four exclusive months of physical pains, emotions, and intense joys with Sydnie, today was my first day back to work! The skirt that I chose to wear was tighter than I hoped but seemed to be my only option without going into my bin of maternity clothes - and not that I enjoy wearing nylons but it was actually nice being able to wear normal nylons for once.
Leaving Sydnie this morning wasn't too difficult but I think the hard part isn't so much the first day but when I find myself spending more hours in the office than I do with Sydnie. Hopefully I can better balance the two... I've technically known my little girl for only four months and I think it is way too early to treat her as if we've been "dating" for years!
So as I sit here updating our blog, I am also nursing a very angry clogged duct(s). One of the feared ramifications of returning to work and trying to pump came true the first day back. Apparently my boob does not enjoy being BF's with the pump =). I did leave the office a little early hoping I could get Sydnie to help with the relief but we were unsuccessful. Gosh, what to do if this continues?!?! Well we'll try again tomorrow. For today, I'm going to have to take a few more advil and hope sleep will overcome the pain.
Other than that, work was relatively quiet for day one. I did have to stop myself a few times from calling home to see how my mom and Sydnie were doing. And pumping at my desk is very strange considering how exposed you feel! No, I'm not pumping in the open but even still, its just weird! My sister always gets on my case for sharing TMI in our blog but I just found myself laughing today realizing that I can no longer pass gas freely like I would at home! haha! I'm so sorry for any of my coworker friends reading this but pregnancy has increased my intenstinal turbulence and I have to remind myself now that my work appearance also includes not smelling like last night's broccoli! haha... sorry!
Well I have to keep this entry short and try to go get this plug out before tomorrow! Ughh! I'll try to post an update before the week ends. Here are some pictures of Sydnie - we're trying to pose her for her birth announcements. We weren't too successful but we think she still looks so cute! =)